tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2572093754278780242024-03-13T06:11:07.443-07:00Bella's BlessingsA Humble Story of ProvidenceBella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.comBlogger553125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-23883552058198594752015-02-25T15:22:00.003-08:002015-02-25T15:22:41.002-08:00Surgery Success!Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Good news. Angelique came through surgery okay. <br />
<br />
Two weeks with no weight bearing. <br />
<br />
We'll take it week by week.<br />
<br />
Kind words, thoughts, vibes, and prayers for a swift and COMPLETE healing would be gratefully received and appreciated.<br />
<br />
Actually, having just typed that...<br />
<br />
... I have to admit that I still have some serious dents in my faith armor regarding prayer. I'm just confused. Since Bella died, I read books about people who were in near death situations, where legions of prayer warriors rallied to the cause, and the person near death miraculously came back, and it all gets chalked up to the power of prayer.<br />
<br />
If that were the case, why didn't Bella make it? There was a worldwide avalanche of prayer coming to her / on her behalf... does God arbitrarily decide which prayers to honor? Were we just a few prayers too short? I'm not looking for you to answer that, I'm just venting.<br />
<br />
If I console myself with the thought that it was God's will all along, then are those books mislead? It was God's will, not the prayers, that allowed the person in danger to return from the edge of death.<br />
<br />
Can you see the spiritual checkmate I'm stuck in? <br />
<br />
God night.Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-35388402870067483902015-02-15T16:24:00.004-08:002015-02-15T16:24:59.348-08:00Just start writing again, TimHeaveno!<br />
<br />
Welp... (that's a word my dad used to use... like well, but with added anticipation of what was to follow)<br />
<br />
It's time to start writing again. Are you still here? How does this work? Do you get a notification? Are you still here? <br />
<br />
I needed a break. I needed to do something completely different for a while.<br />
<br />
Itch: scratched.<br />
<br />
As you may recall, I launched a new business venture called Empower U Academy. It was a smart launch from a business perspective… I was well positioned, it was in the business niche, and I now have a home study course, a low tier group coaching program on FB, and private coaching.<br />
<br />YAAAAWN.<br />
<br />I don't say that to be a jerk. I just mean that it was mostly done with my head and not so much with my heart. My heart still lies in telling Bella's story, funding a cure for her disease, and sharing with the world how Angelique and I coped so powerfully under the circumstances by utilizing faith… but not in the traditional sense of the word.<br />
<br />I self published my first book (the first 3 months of the blog) back in 2009 but didn't know much about launching anything and sold a couple hundred books online and at a few scattered talks. I've known that there are AT LEAST 2 more books in the blog, but I've been afraid to revisit the pain and trauma…<br />
<br />…until 2 Fridays ago. I read the post from the day Bella died, and the post from the following day. Since it had been nearly 5 years, it was as if I was reading someone else's work. I was moved to tears in three ways… 1) from the memories and feelings it triggered, but 2) from the words I was reading, and 3) from the unbelievable comments that followed.<br />
<br />None of my business clients have ever told me I impacted them as much as you blog readers did. The gratitude was exponentially bigger than any I've received from my new company. I asked myself the question: "Tim, if you had only one chance to impact the world, which chance would you rather take: teaching business skills to therapists, or helping others redefine faith… ESPECIALLY parents who have lost children?"<br />
<br />
I started laughing because it was SO OBVIOUS.<br />
<br />I've made the decision to publish the blog and make my life's work about redefining faith, and sharing the three pillars of strength that have allowed me to overcome insurmountable odds in life: Faith, Gratitude… and Music.<br />
<br />
On the home front, Angelique is preparing for a second foot surgery next week so please pray for a full and complete healing. She had surgery in September for a bunion, and the bones never healed properly. Back to the boot!<br />
<br />
Ali is almost 9, in 3rd grade, selling girl scout cookies as a brownie, and once again selling her art to raise money for Dr. Tolar over at www.alisartworld.com. She's blossoming into an amazing young creative philanthropreneur. <br />
<br />
Julian is 3 and a half and just as delicious as ever. He's in pre-school now, is completely infatuated with trains, and loves tofu of all things.<br />
<br />
Alright. There is so much more to catch you up on, but I'm going to pause here for now. <br />
<br />
Please forgive my absence. I needed it. Will you comment below and let us know where you are? We'd like to reconnect.<br />
<br />
God night.Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-81183839737108195372014-01-26T23:16:00.002-08:002014-01-26T23:16:29.274-08:00January 26, 2014… Music Therapy Social Media Advocacy MonthHeaveno!<br />
<br />
As we close the first month of the year, my music therapy community concludes a month-long drive to spread awareness through social media channels. I don't talk too much about music therapy on here, but I would be remiss if I didn't continue to share what lights me up about music therapy.<br />
<br />
I am currently working in a teen recovery center that has a boys home, a girls home, and an intensive outpatient school for kids transitioning back into life after a stay at one of the homes. Where does music therapy fit in with addiction recovery? Well, first, let's get straight about what addiction is. It's a neurological disease the features a breakdown in the reward system in the brain. Often triggered through a combination of genetic predisposition and trauma, addiction is a conundrum because 1) there is no simple test to differentiate an abuser from an addict, 2) and the recovery is patient-generated. It still lives in our culture under a veil of morality i.e. people who fall to addiction may be judged as having 'poor moral fiber.' This is relevant, because the shame that addicts often feel hinders their ability to seek treatment to get healthy. <br />
<br />
Before treatment, whatever the drug or behavior of choice may be becomes the default response for how to deal with the feelings associated with life, and the cravings associated with addiction. Remember the TV show "Family Feud?" Remember "The Number One Answer?" That's how the brain responds. Happy? Use. Sad? Use. Lonely? Use. Angry? Use. Bored? Use… and so on. <br />
<br />
In treatment, the patient has to deal with the fact that their "number one answer"… their 'binky' is no longer an option for coping with life on life's terms. This leaves a GIGANTIC black hole of coping. Like a vacuum. How does one fill that hole? With new tools, and music just happens to be a pretty awesome tool in this case…<br />
<br />
… and that's where I come in. <br />
<br />
Can you imagine 6 teenage boys sitting in a circle trying to articulate their feelings? <br />
<br />
Neither can I. (ha!)<br />
<br />
Seriously. Think about <i>your</i> feelings. They are emotions in action… e-motion… energy in motion… swirling around the mind and body. Do they have words? Not exactly… not until we try to MAP a word or phrase over them to try to match. What if you don't have a word to describe how or what you are feeling? Are you still feeling? HECK YES, right? Imagine those teenage boys' feelings trying to 'get out'… be expressed, but they are trapped inside because they boy lacks a word to map over it… so it remains stuck inside… festering. <br />
<br />
Language is like a toll-booth for emotional expression. It's as if the emotion must pass through the toll booth of language before it is allowed to exit the body.<br />
<br />
Well, I say FORGET all that.<br />
<br />
Hit a drum instead.<br />
<br />
My mantra is, "If you can't say it, PLAY IT."<br />
<br />
You should SEE the boys play their drums… and just because girls seem to have a better knack for articulating, don't think they don't lay into 'em either. Just giving them ALL a NEW AVENUE for their swirling emotions and feelings to travel down and out of their minds and bodies… it is so cathartic!<br />
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One boy told me recently, "Sometimes I don't even KNOW what I'm feeling UNTIL I hit a drum. Then, I listen to how I am playing and realize, 'hey, I'm really angry right now… listen to how hard I'm playing!'" That was from a 15 yr old boy with a history of anger management issues. It is SO GREAT to watch these young men and women who are pretty much learning how to emotionally regulate all over again utilize this tool so eagerly. Because pretty much every kid coming into treatment already has a prior, personal, and powerful relationship to music… I don't have to introduce them to anything 'new.' They may not know me, but they know - and MUCH more importantly - TRUST - music. <br />
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Music is such a wonderful tool. You can use it in so many different ways from preemies to those in hospice and everywhere in between. Our field is still extremely small, but as we continue to see good solid research validating why music works so powerfully on the brain, I feel that music therapy is poised to takes its rightful place in the allied health landscape that includes physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech/language therapy. My 30 year vision is that when I'm 71, music therapy will be spoken of with the same level of understanding as physical therapy. My hope is that this tipping point occurs much sooner than that, but I EXPECT it to have already occurred before I see 72!<br />
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Have you witnessed music therapy in action before? Where? Please Comment!<br />
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God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-4168934779681002822014-01-19T22:43:00.001-08:002014-01-19T22:43:33.357-08:00Moving On...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QdLhXiAcjA/UtzDzftxGEI/AAAAAAAAFwU/bEDsdfKirIk/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9QdLhXiAcjA/UtzDzftxGEI/AAAAAAAAFwU/bEDsdfKirIk/s1600/photo.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
<br />
There are those who will be touched by music therapy in 2014 no matter what I do.<br />
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There are those who won't be touched by music therapy in 2014 no matter what I do.<br />
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But, there are those who will only be touched by music therapy in 2014 as a result of the expansion of the students I'll be training (along with my biz partner Kat Fulton).<br />
<br />
And those people are who I am fighting for this year.<br />
<br />
Who or what am I fighting? <br />
<br />
Old tapes. <br />
<br />
You know the kind…<br />
<br />
The ones that still play in your head long after they should have worn out or been thrown out…<br />
<br />
Tapes like, "You don't have enough experience to teach others. What could they POSSIBLY learn from you?<br />
<br />
Or this one, "When others figure out that you're still struggling in your business, they'll think you're a fraud and expose you to the world for what you really are."<br />
<br />
Kat and my coaches call these voices our inner 'gremlins,' and apparently, we've all got 'em, and they are NOT very nice!<br />
<br />
Tomorrow morning, our new FB group begins where we drop a little nugget of information or inspiration every business day for the rest of the year. We have about 63 or so 'students' (could be students, interns, or professionals) who have 'enrolled' in our group and payed their $1 trial to check us out. Now, it's time to deliver the value. I'm up first. I'll be posting a short article on core values in the morning, and I imagine that maybe this is what a college professor or teacher feels like the night before the first day of school when they are teaching a class or course for the first time.<br />
<br />
My inner gremlins officially kicked into HIGH GEAR at about 6pm tonight and haven't let up. I have a headache, neck ache… my heart is pounding. Luckily I played soccer today, so my body is POOPED OUT… hopefully pooped out enough to make me sleep through the night.<br />
<br />
I told you that I would share breakthrough number 2 from last weekend…<br />
<br />
We did a commitment exercise, and it was another visualization exercise where at one point, my hands were open in that same "I am worthy" position I talked about last week, and little strands of light were shooting out of my fingertips and coming back into my fingertips like one of those orbs at "The Sharper Image" where you touch it and electricity connects the center of the orb to your finger tip. The light was shooting out of the room and reaching that strata of music therapy recipients I described above… the ones that were going to be reached this year because a whole GROUP of music therapists are going to get really clear on their business skills and reach a lot more clients this year. I could visualize them on a map almost, and their energy was dancing back to me and vice versa, all through my fingertips. It was exciting, because these are people I'll never meet and never know personally, but through teaching, training, and coaching, their lives will be impacted nonetheless! That's an honor to be a part of.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Uyjm_W9Ga-s/UtzFJj6lfPI/AAAAAAAAFwo/BxfQduiI3I4/s1600/1461587_696940123651320_507560688_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Uyjm_W9Ga-s/UtzFJj6lfPI/AAAAAAAAFwo/BxfQduiI3I4/s1600/1461587_696940123651320_507560688_n.png" height="320" width="320" /></a><br />
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Then we had to pretend we had a stake in our hand and that it represented our commitment to our vision, and we had to imagine planting it in the ground. Well, I had a flag pole in my hand, and the flag that was on it was our EMPOWER U ACADEMY social medial button, which was designed to look like a school crest. I held it up over my head to thrust it in the ground, and as I looked up over my head in my mind's eye, I saw again Bella and my dad cheering me on to PLANT THAT PUPPY DEEP IN THE GROUND! So when I thrust that virtual flag pole into the ground I feel like the ripple of energy reached the earth's core! It was an intense experience. Then, I leaned my cheek against this virtual flag pole, and rested against it, knowing that if at any time during the journey ahead, the gremlins start attacking, or I start fading, I can just lean against that flag and know it isn't moving. <br />
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When I opened my eyes, I had tears streaming down my cheeks, and when I turned and looked at the young woman next to me, she did too. Apparently she had her own intense moment, and without saying a word, we just gave each other a big hug of support. I never saw her again, and I never spoke a word, but the support I felt (and gave) just in a hug was so heartfelt, so authentic, it was a treat. <br />
<br />
So, this is the game for me in 2014.<a href="https://www.facebook.com/empower.u.academy"> Empower U Academy.</a> Where we teach vital business and personal development skills to other therapists and clinicians so they can help more people, make more money, and have the effect on the world they envisioned when they set their own course. <br />
<br />
There's more to catch up on, but luckily, I'm feeling spent. I'm gonna try to dive into bed before I get an unfortunate second wind!<br />
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God night and God bless.<br />
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Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-18711515743335590952014-01-13T22:28:00.002-08:002014-01-13T22:28:27.800-08:00January 13, 2014: Road Trip!Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Sorry I missed posting last night. I just got home today from an epic road trip to a seminar in northern California. I honestly can't remember how much I've shared if any about the new venture I'm undertaking in 2014, but this weekend was a seminal moment in its development, and a huge breakthrough weekend for me personally. <br />
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One thing I love is that no matter what I've been through, what books I've read, courses I've taken, etc, there is always another level to the game of life. That is what makes it so endlessly beautiful! I have been working on my own personal growth throughout my life; I remember going on church retreats in high school, wilderness school, heck, even Boy Scout camp was personal development. I remember being deathly afraid of water I couldn't see in (ponds, lakes, oceans). In fact, I'm still afraid. However, I purposefully took canoeing merit badge, because as part of the badge, I had to swamp my canoe in the middle of the lake, then get back in it and paddle it back to shore still submerged. I still remember my heart pounding in my chest throughout the whole experience, but I also remember the feeling of adrenaline when I reached the shore. I was 13. <br />
<br />
Now, I'm 41, and I'm still as committed to having those same breakthroughs as ever, and this weekend, I had not one, but two. <br />
<br />
My business partner, Kat Fulton, and I have started a new venture called <a href="http://www.empower-u-academy.com/">Empower U Academy</a> where we teach business skills to clinicians, therapists, and professionals who have degrees in helping people, but never got the skills to learn how to <i>get paid</i> to help people. We have been teaching these skills to our fellow music therapists for the past 4 years at conferences and online, and now we want to help an even wider group help even more people. So we went to San Francisco to a 2-day seminar put on by a company called - interestingly enough - <a href="http://www.thrive-academy.com/">Thrive Academy</a>.<br />
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We thought we were simply coach shopping; we were looking into a couple of different business coaches to help us launch our new venture this year, but we found much more.<br />
<br />
There were two breakthrough exercises that we did that left nothing to question about the new year. In the first, we had to think of what our main disempowering belief about our selves was. Mine was, "I don't deserve to be successful." Then we had to hold our chair up in front of us with our eyes closed and imagine that the chair were bars from a prison cell that we had sentenced ourselves to as a result of this belief. From that cell, in my mind I could see all the people I have touched, helped, served, and treated over the years from either coaching, speaking, performing or treating. There was an army of people amassed all looking at me in my cell, and they were all very confused. They were asking each other, "Why is he in there?" and when they found out that I put myself in there, they were baffled, confused, and stunned. <br />
<br />
With that, they started cheering and shouting for me to GET OUT! of the cell. In my first attempt, I failed. The facilitator said that if we were ready to break through, to go ahead and do so, and I just started crying. For some reason, I have held onto the story that I don't deserve success my whole adult life, and it seemed impossible to just 'let go of.' Then, the facilitator had us imagine we were like a wild animal in a cage, and that it was time for us to bust out. Somehow, that imagery connected me to a more primal, less analytical side of myself, and when he told us to break through a second time, I summoned all the animal instinct I could, and SHOT OUT of that cage! When I did, the crowd that I imagined erupted with joy, and there were two people that were happiest… my dad, and Bella. I sobbed with happiness, and my negative belief was replaced with…<br />
<br />
… I am worthy. <br />
<br />
The peace and humility that accompanied the statement calmed every cell in my body, and I felt a stillness and peace throughout my entire being the likes of which I'm not sure if I've ever felt before. It was so calm. When I got back to my hotel room afterward, I walked in, looked over at the mirror, and froze.<br />
<br />
I didn't quite recognize myself. <br />
<br />
I saw a different person. I saw a man. A happy, peaceful, loving man. It was weird! I tried to snap a picture to see if I could capture the moment, but the camera didn't capture what I was seeing in the mirror. It was genuinely like I was looking at someone else, not me… and I really liked the guy I was looking at. <br />
<br />
I'll tell you about experience number 2 next week; I am drained. However, before I go, want to close by saying that if you work for yourself and your purpose is to help treat others, Kat and I are giving a FREE online class tomorrow evening on 4 key tools every owner/clinician needs if you want to have your best year ever. We're giving away a few gifts on the webinar as well! Please, if that would benefit you, come over! Just go to our website and sign up, and hang out with us online! If you can't make it live, we'll give you a link to the replay, but only if you sign up. We have something FUN cooked up for the new year! <br />
<br />
Just <a href="http://www.empower-u-academy.com/">CLICK HERE</a> to head on over to our site to reserve your spot, and we look forward to serving you tomorrow.<br />
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God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-68093520484217104262014-01-05T22:41:00.003-08:002014-01-05T22:41:39.299-08:00January 5, 2014: Happy New Year!<div class="MsoNormal">
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Heaveno!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Happy New Year!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Ang and I started the new year off by reconvening in our FB
group: 12 by 2/1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re like
me, and you gained some holiday weight, and you want to shed that weight, and
you want to have a supportive community cheer you on, come find us on FB!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you request to join, I’ll add you to
the group!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just type in “12 by
2/1” in the search bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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The name comes from the goal I had last January of losing 12
pounds by Feb 1<sup>st</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
just threw the idea up on FB one night to see if anyone else wanted to lose
their holiday weight together, and 30 something members later, we got a great
group that is totally supportive and seeing progress and posting it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s fun, and I know it works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole reason I didn’t reach for a
beer today was because I didn’t want to post that I had a beer!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social accountability can be a
beautiful thing!</div>
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This week rings in the non-stop pace of the fall as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ali returns to school
tomorrow, Ang gets on another plane till Thursday, and I travel Fri-Mon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No grass growin’ under any feet over
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, I’m starting the year
super grateful for the past 3 weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ali’s been home from school, and mommy was home for all but 2 of those
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It felt really great
reconnecting and spending so much time together.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jKEb5BHxny8/UspO6zlIHwI/AAAAAAAAFvo/VgzJtvajj7U/s1600/photo+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jKEb5BHxny8/UspO6zlIHwI/AAAAAAAAFvo/VgzJtvajj7U/s1600/photo+2.jpg" height="400" width="291" /></a></div>
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Perhaps the biggest news of all was watching (and smelling)
Julian go poop on the potty tonight!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>LOL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been reading
to that little guy on the potty for who-knows-how-long now, and at one point
tonight, he pooped while I was reading to him, but then, not too long after, he
went into the bathroom, got himself a book to read (no joke) and made a giant
poop all by himself!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also peed
through 3 pairs of underpants along the way, but hey, that’s progress! </div>
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Ah, potty training. </div>
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Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-20070578616516272052013-12-29T21:38:00.003-08:002013-12-29T21:38:19.229-08:00December 29, 2013: R+R=R&R...<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cm_Wh4mCWxA/UsEF8qxA1WI/AAAAAAAAFvI/EYfnAv92070/s1600/happy+campers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Cm_Wh4mCWxA/UsEF8qxA1WI/AAAAAAAAFvI/EYfnAv92070/s400/happy+campers.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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Rest + Relaxation = Recharged & Revved up!<br />
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Hope y'all had a happy and holy Christmas filled with joy, love, and wonder. I say wonder because I saw wonder on two fronts, and they were through the eyes of children. <br />
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Thank God for children.<br />
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The wonder was on the secular front with Santa and on the sacred front with Jesus. See, both Christmas stories require an essential ingredient, and it's the word that the conductor punches into the boy's ticket in Polar Express…<br />
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BELIEVE.<br />
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Neither story has any magic or power in it if you don't believe.<br />
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If you DO believe, however, the season is MAGICAL. The expectation on both fronts creates an anticipation that is palpable in children. I saw it at church in front of the advent wreath, and while the children rehearsed for their Christmas Eve Pageant, and I saw it at home in front of the Christmas tree. Preparations were in order, and a level of conscious awareness of "naughty or nice" was heightened. <br />
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It was a magical experience TIMES TWO! <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FDms3KZKWpg/UsEF3otL__I/AAAAAAAAFvA/M0XvAPhy4bQ/s1600/dinner.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FDms3KZKWpg/UsEF3otL__I/AAAAAAAAFvA/M0XvAPhy4bQ/s400/dinner.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Last week was a blast; we spent time with both Ang's family and mine, and Ang and I even got a day and a half on our own thanks to my parents. We just got home tonight, and Ang and I return to work tomorrow.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BuER13Hi8Fk/UsEF8w28vnI/AAAAAAAAFvM/YuyLWWAXazg/s1600/ali+jail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BuER13Hi8Fk/UsEF8w28vnI/AAAAAAAAFvM/YuyLWWAXazg/s400/ali+jail.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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I am really excited about 2014! Life is such a gift. I mean, think about it. We have the ability to look at the coming year as a blank slate on which we can create a MASTERPIECE. We can dig in and work hard at solving big problems, little problems, math problems, boy problems, and anything in between. Want to fund breakthroughs in science, technology, biology? No problem. Want to fund micro loans to farmers in developing countries to help them break free from a cycle of poverty by starting their own businesses? No problem. Want to fund a well that will supply clean water to an entire village in Africa? No problem. <br />
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We can do ANY of these things we want.<br />
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Man, we are so lucky.<br />
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One new venture for me this next year is that I'm partnering with a longtime colleague to teach business skills to clinicians so they can stay in business, make more money, and help more people.<br />
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What are YOU going to conquer/accomplish/obliterate/solve/create/provide in 2014? Post something inspiring below and let's create a DREAM /VISION WALL for the new year! See you in the beauty.<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-45677412474140002112013-12-22T23:38:00.002-08:002013-12-22T23:38:45.027-08:00December 22, 2013: A light blue Christmas...<div>
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<i>Ali's awesome hair for her dress rehearsal of the church Christmas musical…</i></div>
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<i>… and from the front…</i></div>
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<i>First time in a booster and first time rocking the straw!</i></div>
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<i>One of the greatest and best pictures of all time…</i></div>
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<i>Not to be outdone by this one… from mommy's company's "winter open house " (PC for Christmas Party)</i></div>
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Heaveno!<div>
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Ironically, despite all those hilarious and uplifting pics, I'm writing about a heavy subject, but a subject that none of us escapes. </div>
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Grief.</div>
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I want to start off with an AWESOME quote from Pastor Randy Hill from Healing Heart Ministries in Hunting Beach, CA. Pastor Hill and I worked the annual remembrance service for Fairhaven Memorial Park two weeks ago. I led christmas carols and accompanied a soloist on Silent Night, while Pastor Hill gave the sermon. Here is the quote:</div>
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"<i>Great grief is not a sign of poor faith."</i></div>
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It was nestled into the middle of a paragraph of thoughts that Pastor Hill was sharing, and it just jumped out "in bold print" (aurally speaking) at me. I approached him afterward to make sure I got it right, because it was so profound. I know I have written about grief before, and I seems like a distant memory at this point, but unfortunately grief itself is not a distant memory. </div>
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Christmas remains bittersweet. Ali picked out a pair of fabulous socks to put in Bella's stocking today. Going into the baby aisle at the store and looking at the cute little girl socks and reaching up and picking the ones Ali wanted caused pangs of pain in my chest. There remains the duality of grief and joy, ever-present. Missing Bella and delighting in Ali and Julian - simultaneously. </div>
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I was greatly comforted by this quote. It reminded me that the game is not to try to use some strategy to avoid grief; grief is unavoidable. It reminded me that grief and faith don't necessarily have <i>any</i> relationship, direct or inverse. It ISN'T true that "<i>the more faith you have, the less you'll grieve." And… </i>It's also NOT true that "<i>the more faith you have, the more you'll grieve." </i>They're just not related at all. </div>
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I think people who think that they have faith and yet find themselves beset by grief may be confused by their own despair… like it's a sign of weakness in their faith armor or something. This is when the dreaded and useless "Shoulds" can kick in. Like, "I don't understand, I <i>should </i>be feeling better, after all (my loved one) is in a better place." or the flip side, "What's the matter with me? I <i>shouldn't </i>be so selfish and upset, (my loved one) is with God now." </div>
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Or worse, once the shock of the loss wears off, we may feel worse than when we initially found out about the loss. Then what do we do? Is our faith slipping? </div>
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Circling back to Pastor Hill and the event where we met… it was a free community event in this beautiful old church that is built as a miniature cathedral… like totally to scale, but maybe only fits a couple of hundred people. The service was offered over two nights, and both nights, the church was packed; packed with people who had lost a loved one and needed to mourn over the holidays. Fairhaven Memorial Park, being as awesome as they are, has filled this need for 17 straight years now, and I felt really privileged to minister to so many people that I would otherwise never intersect with. </div>
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They had a "roll call" where you could fill out a form about your loved one, and they would read their name and the small details about them… like a micro-ulogy, and a family member could come up and collect an ornament to hang on your Christmas tree at home in remembrance of that person. I thought it was so sweet. When I asked the lady about the forms, she said, "Would you like me to fill one out for you?" (She didn't realize I was working there) and I said, "Yes." I gave her Bella's info, and when she asked me what did I want her to be remembered for, I replied, "for inspiring the world."</div>
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During the role call, my job was to play gentle instrumental guitar in the background. They told me it would be about 15 minutes, so I prepared a 3 song medley that is roughly that long. As I was playing, I heard Bella's name called, and the man reading recited what I asked them to say. The tears came as I played my guitar…</div>
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… know what song number 3 in the medley is?</div>
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"Bella's Song"</div>
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"Bella's Song" began as an instrumental piece, and for a long time, I played it that way to Bella while she was still in the womb, and it was only with Ang's encouragement that I finally set lyrics to it, with her and Ali's help. So, it was a bittersweet moment to be playing her song while we remembered her… none of the people there knew who she was, and none of them knew the song I was playing, but she and I knew what was happening. The event coordinator who hired me for the service was very sweet; when the service was over, she walked right up to me with an ornament stretched out in front of her and gave me a big old hug. I really appreciated that acknowledgement. She knew my story, and while she didn't recognize the song, she recognized a daddy who was missing his little girl. A lot. </div>
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Great grief is not a sign of poor faith. </div>
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It's a sign of deep love. </div>
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Wear your grief proudly. Feel it deeply. You've earned it. You've risked it all and loved. </div>
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For if you haven't loved, you haven't lived.</div>
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Merry Christmas and God night.</div>
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Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-73612017233548187022013-12-15T23:05:00.000-08:002013-12-15T23:05:19.110-08:00December 15, 2013: SHOUTING TO THE ROOFTOPS...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vh_OMYZLXp4/Uq6jL7BBICI/AAAAAAAAFtk/1PfCGSO5vBw/s1600/Final_WOH_border_logo_lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="301" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vh_OMYZLXp4/Uq6jL7BBICI/AAAAAAAAFtk/1PfCGSO5vBw/s400/Final_WOH_border_logo_lg.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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This post is a straight up honor and shout out to Christie Zink. <br />
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Christie is the Relationship Manager at PUCK, and an absolute Saint-in-Progress.<br />
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Christie organized and managed a fundraising event in Minnesota yesterday called Wings of Hope to continue to support Dr. Tolar's research to find a safe, effective, systemic treatment for severe EB. There were 50 guests, and from the photos I've seen on Facebook (thank you to Trisha Knuth, Vanessa Delgado, SooAnn Roberts Pisano, and Amanda Clark Pfeiffer for posting pics!), it looks like it was totally warm, fuzzy, yummy, moving, inspiring, and every other juicy word I can think of. Not only that, but it looks like, thanks to an unbelievably generous matching grant, more money was raised at this single event than at any PUCK event to date. <br />
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Christie, I don't know where you find the time or energy, but you are just about the most passionate person I know, and I am so honored to work with you and I am so inspired by your commitment to Dr. Tolar cracking the code and delivering a treatment to this amazing community of EB families. We both know that it is SO much bigger than that, though. We KNOW that this line of treatment has the potential to open doors of treatment to so many more than just those with EB. It's bigger than any of us. Thanks for being able to see the view from that high elevation, and still able to get right down into the trenches of the tiniest and thoughtful details. <br />
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Thank you for all you do… not just what you do, but how you do it. You have a GIGANTIC heart that is LITERALLY overflowing with love. It spills out onto all whom you touch. It is humbling to witness. All of us who are lucky enough to know you are better men, women, and children for it.<br />
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I just returned home from a seminar that I first attended 3 years ago at this time to learn how to share Bella's journey from the stage and raise money and awareness for Dr. Tolar's work. In 2010 and 2011, I was given the opportunity to speak on this stage in front of 600 other speakers, authors, and entrepreneurs by the generous host, James Malinchak. Yesterday, I got to sit in the lobby and report to one friend I met there 3 years ago that Dr. Tolar has received over a million dollars in funding for EB since he and I first met. Who cares how much was given by whom, that's not the point. The point is that the Dr. who is breaking new ground in EB research for severe EB has the funds he needs to stay on course and 'stay in business.' <br />
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The reason I mention that is because there was another guy there this weekend who also ran a small charity, and in that same time period, went out of business.<br />
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Thanks to people like Christie Zink, I don't go to bed worrying about that happening to Dr. Tolar's EB lab anymore.<br />
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God night, and God bless you, Christie. <br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-39050420224148776232013-12-08T21:42:00.000-08:002013-12-08T21:42:14.086-08:00December 8, 2013: God Has a Plan… right?<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-47hukdNI2ic/UqVWqrQ9API/AAAAAAAAFtI/FFw--eJas4A/s1600/photo+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-47hukdNI2ic/UqVWqrQ9API/AAAAAAAAFtI/FFw--eJas4A/s400/photo+4.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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<i>Catching a little "Polar Express" before bed time. Ali has her "Polar Express" hot chocolate mug in her hand from when we went on it in Colorado… and yep, it's full of hot chocolate!</i><br />
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<i>Happiest kid in California on his tricycle…</i><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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<i>"Don't be afraid, God has a plan." </i><br />
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- lyric from one of the songs from Ali's Christmas pageant.<br />
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I think that might have been the essence of my last post. However, I have to confess, sometimes I wonder. I try to wrap my brain around the massive possibility that in all of this madness called life, there is a master conductor above it all, weeping, laughing, and cheering at all of it. Hard to imagine, right? I laugh at the audacity of even attempting to imagine it in the first place!<br />
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I am reminded of the conversation God had with me back in Minnesota. I'll try to recall it for you. I'm pretty sure I've shared it before, so it might not be verbatim, but it'll be close. <br />
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I was sitting on my morning bench in the park reading all the comments from y'all, and praying for the day I was about to face in the PICU, when God simply said, "I'm taking her home."<br />
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"You're WHAT?" I replied.<br />
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"I'm taking her home." He repeated.<br />
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"WHAT??? Seriously?! You didn't just send us all the way here to MN, you didn't send us ALL THE SIGNS to come here… only to take her home!?" I retorted.<br />
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"Look down at the sidewalk." God instructed.<br />
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"Okay." I looked down.<br />
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"See the ants going back and forth in the crack?" A highway of red ants were galloping back and forth in the groove between the two pieces of sidewalk.<br />
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"Yes."<br />
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"Are they in the same reality as you are?"<br />
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"Huh?"<br />
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"I mean, if you stepped on them, would you impact their reality?"<br />
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"Yes."<br />
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"Now look up."<br />
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I looked up, and saw the downtown Minneapolis skyline through a break in the tree line.<br />
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"Can the ants see what you see?"<br />
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I looked back down. "No."<br />
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I got the point. Just as the ants couldn't see what I could see from their vantage point, I couldn't see what God could see from His vantage point. I just had to trust. <br />
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That was some of the heaviest lifting - spiritually speaking - I've ever had to do. However, the stakes were SO HIGH, that there was no illusion of controlling her life. I HAD to turn her life over to God. Faith and trust in a plan were actually <i>easier</i> for me to employ in that circumstance than in the day-to-day busy-ness that I find myself in these days. <br />
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I'll also confess that I have been <i>really</i> reluctant to "try on" faith and trust again. Here's where I get tripped up, and PLEASE tell me if you can relate to this. I "have faith" that God will do… my will - not His. I got tripped up and "burned" in MN because I was praying for my will, not His.<br />
<br />
You know what I <i>just</i> realized for the first time? <br />
<br />
It may be semantics, but I resist the idea of "God's Will." Why does God need a will? He is the almighty all-everything, right? What could He possibly need/want? Still, when contrasting the phrase "God's Will" with "God has a Plan," I find myself gravitating toward the second phrase… somehow I feel less like a pawn and more like a partner. Hahaha, once again, there goes my ego… partnering with God. STILL… part of me <i>wants that kind of relationship</i>… Co-creating as some call it. Maybe there is some level of partnership available, AND there is a level God hangs out at that is simply too tall to grasp… like the ants trying to see downtown. There's probably a good song title, book title in there…<br />
<br />
<i>The Ants Can't See Downtown, and You Can't See God's Plan… So You Just Gotta Trust.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Don't think that one is making it onto the empowering/inspirational self-help shelf any time soon, but hey, you never know!<br />
<br />
:P<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-44097817726479853662013-12-01T22:32:00.002-08:002013-12-01T22:32:20.606-08:00December 1, 2013: Happy Thanksgiving!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YLhn7ASC9CI/UpwomTHCBoI/AAAAAAAAFsY/ecXkJgng22E/s1600/photo+4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YLhn7ASC9CI/UpwomTHCBoI/AAAAAAAAFsY/ecXkJgng22E/s400/photo+4.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Hope all y'all stateside had a happy Thanksgiving! We drove out to Phoenix to spend the weekend with my mom and her husband Ralph. They throw a great Thanksgiving dinner… I'd drive to Phoenix for Ralph's stuffing any day frankly! Anyhow, we overcame the urge to try to cram in a bunch of visiting with friends as well, and just made one quick stop in to a friend's home on the way out of town to see their new baby. The rest of the time, we were pretty successful at NOT scheduling anything and letting the mood drive our plans. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X9Pr836Y1Jc/UpwohrrHdfI/AAAAAAAAFsA/z774lgvHp6Q/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X9Pr836Y1Jc/UpwohrrHdfI/AAAAAAAAFsA/z774lgvHp6Q/s400/photo+2.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
What a nice change from the past.<br />
<br />
We used to book a lunch with this person, coffee with that couple, and dinner with this family, et cetera, and it would wear us out. Cheers to slowing down and enjoying leisurely walks with mom's springer spaniel, Max. Cheers to enjoying a beer on the back patio with Ralph while the ladies shopped. Cheers to sleeping in. Cheers to leftovers. Cheers to watching Ali sew on Nanny's sewing machine. Life is good.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nlO5LLYRnnw/UpwoaoEK06I/AAAAAAAAFr4/tqlDlnuukM4/s1600/PART951385912920233952013120195084606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nlO5LLYRnnw/UpwoaoEK06I/AAAAAAAAFr4/tqlDlnuukM4/s400/PART951385912920233952013120195084606.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
On the ride out and back, we listened to Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, "David and Goliath." I've read all his other books, and his formula is beginning to become a little predictable for me, but there are some interesting stories in this one (like all his books). <br />
<br />
Here's my question for you, and please honor the community here with your comments if you will…<br />
<br />
"What single thing are you NOW thankful for, that when it happened, you never imagined you would be?"<br />
<br />
For me, it's probably pretty obvious:<br />
<br />
Bella having EB. So many people's lives have been powerfully, positively, and permanently impacted by her journey, and I only dare say that because they tell us. It is an honor to be her daddy, and her storyteller. I struggle A LOT with some pretty heavy self doubt, and she gave me a gift by being our daughter. I had to "show up" as caregiver, wound care expert, daddy, advocate, etc. day after day, and in that journey, I became someone I didn't think I could. I didn't think I "had it in me," and now that I know I do, I have a lot of confidence in being a bad ass daddy for Julian and Ali for the rest of their lives and mine. <br />
<br />
Several times a week, I experience some sort of anxiety or terror inside at the prospect that somehow I'm a grown up now and am somehow supposed to have answers for my kids, when I still feel like a kid walking around in a grown up's body (trying to) fool the world that I'm really not just an overgrown 8 year old. <br />
<br />
Bella gave me a chance to dispel all that disempowering chatter. I could have blown it, I could have run, I could have fallen apart, I could have shrank, but as it turned out, I didn't. In those times of dark self doubt, I can look back and see who I really was when the chips were down. Crisis can really reveal a lot about a person. Watching the way Angelique showed up, day after day, watching the grace Bella showed day after day, inspired me to have the best version of myself show up every day as well.<br />
<br />
Best line from Gladwell's new book? <br />
<br />
<i>"Courage isn't some thing that you already have, that makes you brave when the tough times start. Courage is what you EARN, when you've been through the tough times and discover that they aren't so tough after all."</i><br />
<br />
There are still scars and sadness in my heart on multiple levels from the journey, but I am thankful for the scars. Bella helped me see that I can be more than my doubts. <br />
<br />
Yet if I could just wave a magic wand and entertain one fantasy, it would be to have all three kids together at the same time… here. I would love to see Ali loving all over both her younger siblings as she is a love machine to Julian and was to Bella. I'd love to see Bella giggling and laughing her big belly laugh at Julian, and Julian smiling his giant grin at her and hugging her. It's so cute when he says, "HI ALI!" when he sees her in the morning. The genuine excitement in his voice is just adorable. What I would give to hear him blurt out, "HI BELLA!" <br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Rqn9Kae064k/UpwoiXJlk2I/AAAAAAAAFsE/GaEHep0HOdg/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Rqn9Kae064k/UpwoiXJlk2I/AAAAAAAAFsE/GaEHep0HOdg/s400/photo+1.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Still, while I go to bed tonight with a sad heart, I am still thankful for ALL OF IT.<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-21500262168446857752013-11-26T23:18:00.000-08:002013-11-26T23:18:58.443-08:00November 25, 2013: The Cat is Finally Out of the Bag...<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0lzlDq9UJlk/UpWZU_2FzOI/AAAAAAAAFq8/7LaI64sItXg/s1600/20131119_181837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0lzlDq9UJlk/UpWZU_2FzOI/AAAAAAAAFq8/7LaI64sItXg/s400/20131119_181837.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Sorry I missed you on Sunday; I didn't get in from Jacksonville till about 11pm, and I was up since 3am, so I basically set the coffee machine, brushed my teeth, and collapsed into bed. Then, last night, I sat down to write this, but got totally sucked into "The Blacklist." I'll tell you more about Jacksonville in a minute… let me get to the real juice. <br />
<br />
Ang has been on a secret agent mission for Verizon Wireless since January code named "Atlas." Verizon Wireless made a bold decision to completely redesign their 'destination stores,' which are their flagship stores nationwide. <br />
<br />
So, if you ever saw her flying to Philly on Facebook, she was flying into a factory building where they built a complete replica of their new store inside… a building inside a building… so no competitors would see what they were up to.<br />
<br />
If you saw her flying to Houston on Facebook… yup, that was Atlas store redesign.<br />
<br />
If you saw her flying to Minneapolis on Facebook, yup, that was store number one… Mall of America.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sqXSm03DvYs/UpWZRC5ke3I/AAAAAAAAFqs/fDYPPCWA2aQ/s1600/1385444652866-vz.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sqXSm03DvYs/UpWZRC5ke3I/AAAAAAAAFqs/fDYPPCWA2aQ/s400/1385444652866-vz.png" width="233" /></a><br />
<br />
The day finally came last week when the curtains were opened up, the red carpet was rolled out, and Verizon Wireless unleashed the next generation of their stores, and it was AWESOME for all there. Not only was Selena Gomez their first customer, but Verizon threw a private concert for all the employees that worked their butts off launching this massive project that featured Train and Owl City, and Angelique was in the front row!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uqR87sWedd4/UpWZaC_BpSI/AAAAAAAAFrE/pR53jhW4KiQ/s1600/20131119_204758.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uqR87sWedd4/UpWZaC_BpSI/AAAAAAAAFrE/pR53jhW4KiQ/s400/20131119_204758.jpg" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
Pretty awesome. So, if you live in the twin cities, make sure to head to MOA to see the new store. Ang's job was to create the blueprint for the overall training experience, and to manage the curriculum development team that put it all together.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g7Bk5rBUFiU/UpWZTmeYfUI/AAAAAAAAFq0/R7m9ltW-usw/s1600/20131119_180514.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g7Bk5rBUFiU/UpWZTmeYfUI/AAAAAAAAFq0/R7m9ltW-usw/s400/20131119_180514.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
My wife is kind of a big deal. :-)<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in Jacksonville, FL, the American Music Therapy Association held its annual national conference last week. Usually around 1200 or so music therapists attend, making it the largest gathering of music therapists in the country each year. Hundreds of classes are taught in the form of pre-conference institutes, workshops, and concurrent sessions. About 80 vendors come to share their wares in the exhibit hall, and all the committees and assemblies and regional boards all meet to do business to help advance the profession. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Ji5ga2lEbU/UpWZg3YjHDI/AAAAAAAAFrc/qmf81lox49s/s1600/photo+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Ji5ga2lEbU/UpWZg3YjHDI/AAAAAAAAFrc/qmf81lox49s/s400/photo+2.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
<i>The view from over the river of where conference was held…</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
For me, as a regional president-elect, I have to attend, but even without my participation on the regional board, I'd never miss conference. I live for it. I work by myself, and as an extrovert, I am not only energized when around others, but increasingly so when around other music therapists. After all, their my people! LOL. There were many highlights this time around, and it could be said that it was the best conference I've attended. I taught a 5 hour work shop, and gave two concurrent sessions, one 60-minute, and one 90-minute. Between the three classes, I probably taught about 150 music therapists business and personal development skills to empower them not only in their own careers, but I also taught a student-specific class that had about 80 college students in it. <br />
<br />
However, the professional highlight was when the Executive Director of the AMTA gave her plenary address, and within the first five minutes of it, acknowledged me for my TEDx talk, and had me stand to receive a round of applause from her… and my roughly 1,199 peers in the hall at the same time. It meant so much to be acknowledged like that. I was so lucky to be given the opportunity to give a TEDx talk; I was just giving a talk at an event where the TEDx organizer was in attendance, and the rest, as they say, is history. I look up to so many of my colleagues, and to be recognized by them for a job well done in advocating for music therapy (the video has been viewed just under 15,000 times on the YouTube channel and who knows how many times it was viewed when it was on the AMTA's home page for 3 months earlier this year), well, that just about made my heart burst.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3L-tdeQIUBI/UpWZboZKvGI/AAAAAAAAFrM/rLtvU8QjPow/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3L-tdeQIUBI/UpWZboZKvGI/AAAAAAAAFrM/rLtvU8QjPow/s400/photo+1.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
<i>Our Executive Director, Dr. Andi Farbman on stage…</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
So, all of that is great for Ang and me, but NONE of it would be possible without grandma and grandpa. Rodger and Carolyn Rhinehart by name, they are the glue that keeps this family together as mommy and daddy attempt to balance simultaneous career growth with family cohesion. Angelique and I are so lucky to have them just 30 minutes from us, and Ali and Julian are so lucky to have a regular relationship with their grandparents. Neither Ang nor I got to grow up with regular interactions with our grandparents. The relationships they are building just warm Ang's and my heart. There is so much love going on in both directions, and our crazy schedule creates lots of opportunities for interaction! LOL. We are very lucky in life, and as we roll into Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for Ang's parents, for once again, without them, I don't even know how we'd keep it all together. We love you grandma and grandpa!<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-86086222746561098012013-11-17T22:54:00.001-08:002013-11-17T22:54:28.780-08:00November 17, 2013: Calm Before the Storm...<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9E7ouF6vNfc/Uom2itSrD4I/AAAAAAAAFpw/bI1fLr8-XzM/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9E7ouF6vNfc/Uom2itSrD4I/AAAAAAAAFpw/bI1fLr8-XzM/s400/photo+3.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Yesterday was one of those days that was like the eye of the storm for us. <br />
<br />
Angelique got home from a business trip Friday evening, and leaves again tomorrow morning. She'll be back Thursday, but I leave on Wednesday on my next trip (thank GOD once again for grandma!). Both trips represent kind of a 'professional climax' for each of us, and it's interesting that they are the first business trips of the year that overlap. We've been amazingly lucky to get this far into the year without this happening yet.<br />
<br />
Angelique's trip, well, I'll be able to tell you more about it next week. The details of it are kinda top secret, so I'll fill you in soon. I'm heading (back) to Jacksonville for the American Music Therapy National Conference. I am teaching three courses/sessions there: a 5 hour class, a 90 minute class, and a 60 minute class, plus attending numerous meetings as the regional President-Elect, PLUS launching something rather top secret myself. :-) Uff da. That's a lot of stuff between Ang and me.<br />
<br />
SO… yesterday was our day to really unwind and be in total kid mode. First, Ali asked me if I would take her to "Princess Ballet" class, since mommy had taken her the first two times. She wanted me to see her in action. No problem. Well, let me tell you, that girl was IN HER ELEMENT. At the beginning of class, each student gets a pair of fairy wings, a tiara, and a magic wand… gear we already have at home, of course, so donning any of it was/is second nature to La Princessa Alessandra. I asked her to come to the door for me to snap a quick pic to capture the moment, and this pose was all her, with no prompting…<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IcGjQ-vicuw/Uom4Xi_YPaI/AAAAAAAAFqg/FIbM2BwSQnw/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IcGjQ-vicuw/Uom4Xi_YPaI/AAAAAAAAFqg/FIbM2BwSQnw/s400/photo.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
<br />
Awesome. <br />
<br />
Next, it was onto "A Day Out With Thomas (the train)."<br />
<br />
We hopped in the family minivan and drove out the the bustling metropolis of Perris (not Paris), California. There is a train museum out there and they had a whole fair set up with a full size, real life Thomas the tank engine pulling a line of (random) coaches down the track about a half a mile and back through a pretty, well, run down neighborhood. But forget all that, because with children, the imagination is a powerful thing, so for every functioning or nonfunctioning train we saw, we thought of the train in the Thomas world that it most resembled and we called it that, and you know what? It worked like a CHARM, baby! Both Ali and Julian were fully invested in the trains. It was super cute.<br />
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Then, being not too far away from some dear friends of ours, we headed over to their house to see their baby for the first time and eat some grub. We had a wonderful dinner, and their daughter and Ali HIT IT OFF with their common love of all things princessy… apparently, she is usually around boys all the time, so to have a girl come over and want to play dress up was a pretty amazing thing! It was great to see our friends, and so sweet to hold a 5 month old baby again! All you parents know what I mean… once your kid is 30 pounds (or more) of non-stop action, a little tiny baby is just DELICIOUS to snuggle with! LOL.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ue-_IL0u2ms/Uom2jxk_zFI/AAAAAAAAFp4/Cd7aUL6qnNY/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ue-_IL0u2ms/Uom2jxk_zFI/AAAAAAAAFp4/Cd7aUL6qnNY/s400/photo+1.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In other random news, Ali and I planted this morning glory plant from a hand full of seeds in a pot over the summer. Can’t remember when specifically, but a lot of work went in to cultivating those little seeds. A lot of work went on “underground/behind the scenes” before we saw about a dozen little sprouts in our pot. Then, they grew up this little structure we placed in the pot to help them climb. When they reached the top, I transplanted the lot of them into the ground and prayed they’d survive the move. Then, they started dying out, but one sprout kept going, and it caught on to the big lattice I placed behind it. It grew slowly, delicately, and I was a good steward, re-routing the vine back and forth across the lattice. The vine grew, and the leaves grew, but for the longest time, no flowers. <br />
<br />
This photo is what I woke up to this morning. It is POPPING and EXPLODING! It’s what Ali and I envisioned all those months ago, and it’s beautiful.</span>
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<br />
Life is busy, and while life may be full of wonderful things, there are many things a lot less than wonderful that happened this week to friends, family, colleagues, and members of the EB community. It was a tough week with a lot of loss. The EB community lost another BMT patient 5 months post transplant; our thoughts and prayers are with his family along with all those who just got hit by tornadoes today, and of course the typhoon in the Philippines. It's just impossible to make sense of it all, and I'm again reminded of how temporary and fragile life is. So please, while you have one (a life) LIVE IT UP… don't just survive. You and I have this precious GIFT. Enjoy it with a healthy dose of gratitude. Let your living life to the max be a tribute to those who have lost this gift. <br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-63631656553318335632013-11-10T22:09:00.000-08:002013-11-10T22:09:04.156-08:00November 10, 2013: Happy Tenth Anniversary!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-REcvASq-7lY/UoBzA8VZVxI/AAAAAAAAFpY/TbQYrgzxsZI/s1600/b&w+wedding+picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-REcvASq-7lY/UoBzA8VZVxI/AAAAAAAAFpY/TbQYrgzxsZI/s400/b&w+wedding+picture.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Friday marked Ang's and my 10-year wedding anniversary! <br />
<br />
Where did the time go? I'm sure many of you can relate to that question, right? There was a special on H2 last night about the White House, and former alternative icon Henry Rollins was the host, and MAN DID HE LOOK O-L-D. It was really depressing, because I used to be a HUGE fan of his back in the '90's… of course the '90's were as many as TWENTY years ago already. Sheeesh…. Ang and I started dating 4 years before we got married, so we actually were dating in the '90's! LOL. <br />
<br />
Anyway, grandma watched the kids while we went out for a nice dinner full of uninterrupted conversations! Isn't that just the best? <br />
<br />
Compared to so many couples we look up to, 10 years isn't much at all, but it's still an accomplishment, right? It honestly doesn't feel like 'an accomplishment,' though, and here's why… when you're shooting for 50, 10 is just getting started. ;-) Seriously, we are lifers… so no one issue, challenge, accomplishment or event feels that big or significant when looked through that lens. It takes a lot of pressure off, frankly! Being a recovering perfectionist, it allows me to make a mistake and not beat myself up over it, and it allows Ang to make a mistake and me not obsess over it. I like that a lot. Point is, keeping a big picture, we laugh a lot... at each other, at ourselves, and DEFINITELY at the kids. We'll probably pay for that someday, but it's funny now!<br />
<br />
Have I ever shared my song, "Marriage Advice (Yes, Boss!)" on here? Perhaps tonight would be perfect! I more or less spontaneously wrote this song at a campfire on the island of Kauai on the night of September 8, 2007, having been the officiant at my close buddy and his wife's wedding that day on the beach of Hanalei Bay. It's one big goof, and it may be a little hard to picture without me singing it, because it is pretty idiosyncratic, but here goes. The nylon sting guitar strums in a minor i-iv-V chord progression that evokes a certain "Besame Mucho" vibe…<br />
<br />
<i>You think you know how to keep her happy</i><br />
<i>and always right by your side</i><br />
<i>You think you have a plan, but you don't even</i><br />
<i>understand how to turn the tide back in your…. [spoken] back in your favor!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>So I'm gonna share a big secret with you</i><br />
<i>one that will help you out</i><br />
<i>now that you're hitched for life there is no doubt </i><br />
<i>that sometime in your future</i><br />
<i>These two words…. [spoken] will really come in handy!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>YES BOSS! The only two words that you need</i><br />
<i>YES BOSS! It's less words than "I love you…." [spoken] that's three!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Honey take out the garbage for me please?!"</i><br />
<i>"Will you rub my feet?"</i><br />
<i>"Buy me a new house a new SUV"</i><br />
<i>"Or something from Tiffany's"</i><br />
<i>To match the 3 rings…. [spoken] you know…. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>1. the engagement ring</i><br />
<i>2. the wedding ring</i><br />
<i>3. and THE SUFFERING! Ohhhhhh!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>YES BOSS! The only two words that you need</i><br />
<i>YES BOSS! It's less words than "I love you…." [spoken] that's three!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Now we have come to the end of my song</i><br />
<i>I hope that it helped a bit</i><br />
<i>It's best if you just hand your (male genitalia) right to her</i><br />
<i>it will help you to sit</i><br />
<i>Sit on the bench…. [spoken] the bench outside that really expensive boutique in the mall where she'll be shopping for three hours with your credit card the next time you screw something up!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>YES BOSS! The only two words that you need</i><br />
<i>YES BOSS! It's less words than "I love you…." [spoken] that's three!</i><br />
<i>YES BOSS! The only two words that you need</i><br />
<i>YES BOSS! It's less words than "I love you…." [spoken] that's three!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
:P<br />
<br />
And with that sage wisdom, feel free to pass that song on to the men in your life.<br />
<br />
God night!<br />
<br />
<i>Fresh from a bath and bandage change, Bella lobotomizes to either Baby Einstein or Mickey Mouse...</i><br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-8136667573865423142013-11-03T22:30:00.002-08:002013-11-03T22:30:36.416-08:00November 3, 2013: Transcendence...<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2_ckXO0WqE4/Unc9YkgyYdI/AAAAAAAAFog/p81miCbBauc/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2_ckXO0WqE4/Unc9YkgyYdI/AAAAAAAAFog/p81miCbBauc/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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<i>And on the 7th day… daddy worked is BUTT OFF! LOL...</i><br />
<br />
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
What exactly <i>is</i> transcendence? <br />
<br />
How do you know when you've experienced it? <br />
<br />
It is a one-time-thing, or can you "make the jump to light speed" many times?<br />
<br />
Transcendence is a word that I have been wrapping my tiny little monkey brain around now for probably a good year now. It's one of those "things" that I knew of, but never really bothered to 'take it on,' until, well, since May for sure, but I probably started seriously reading book after book on it beginning a year ago. <br />
<br />
This weekend I had the joy of working an event with my mentor, Christine Stevens. She led a small team of us in leading a drum circle at a seminar of about, oh, I'd say about 200-300 participants. I had the joy of playing the bass drum to 'lay down the heartbeat' for everyone to sync to. Great experience, but what made it really interesting were two exercises/experiences that led up to it. <br />
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<i>One of the cooler stages I've seen at a seminar...</i><br />
<br />
The seminar was a multicultural event where lots of thought leaders and spiritual leaders from really diverse walks of life shared different practices and rituals that promote health, prosperity, and transcendence. Our job was to promote the power of music. Some of the other speakers were Don Miguel Ruiz, Joe Vitale, Marci Shimoff, and Indian master, Pandit Samavedula. <br />
<br />
Master Samavedula performed a vedic yagya, which was a really interesting experience. He chanted a mantra 108 times as he ceremoniously added some sort of indian butter to a small fire… almost like he was making incense. As I was watching this, at first I was just 'watching' it like a spectator, which was pretty boring, let me tell you. I mean, who wants to listen to some priest chant the same thing in a foreign language 108 times in a row? Then, something happened. Can't put my finger on it, but at some point, I got my posture into the meditative posture I use when I meditate in the morning, and I slipped off into a meditative state. It was really sublime, until two of the production team dragged me out of it with their talking. Grrr… Still, there was a moment where 'something' happened in me. It's hard to articulate. I went… inward… like part of me disconnected from my body, any yet I was really connected to my body at the same time. I didn't leave my body or the room, I was really grounded in that very moment. <br />
<br />
Is <i>that</i> transcendence?<br />
<br />
I had to wonder, as Master Samavedula was reciting this mantra that many times, where was he? Was he on auto-pilot, thinking about other things? Was he right there in the moment? My dad used to pray the rosary. I prayed it a few times in childhood, but it was tough to stay present for 59 consecutive prayers as a kid. I wonder, if anyone reading this blog prays the rosary, what is it like for you? Do you find your mind wandering? Do you find yourself praying other prayers while you are reciting the Hail Marys and Our Fathers? Do you ever experience what you might call transcendence when you are 'in' the rosary? <br />
<br />
After that, we did a really sweet exercise where all the participants gathered in two concentric circles facing each other. We were shoulder to shoulder, and about a foot apart. Our instructions were to get into the circles in complete silence, and once we were all in, we were to look into the left eye of the person across from us without talking. Just be with them. Don't 'do' anything. After about a minute or so, a bell rang, and the inside circle shifted one person to the left, and we did the same thing with a new person. All the while, a beautiful song with just piano and a female voice gently played in the background. The song's refrain was singing something about, "You are the face of God." <br />
<br />
As I gazed into each person's eye (really great instruction to just focus left eye to left eye, because we really got to 'lock in' with the other person), some really great moments occurred. First of all, I was struck by how beautiful the human eye is. I marveled at the beauty contained in each one I looked at. Then, in other moments, I was able to really connect with the human at the other end of that eye! That may sound funny, but in some moments I could perceive a whole person. Other times, I was marveling at the brilliance of the eye itself. Still others, I could the reflection of me and the room in the person's eye, and almost see what they were seeing. But finally, for a couple of brief, fleeting moments… I thought I was looking into an entire universe, and in one of those moments, I thought I spied God way off in the distance somehow smiling at me, even though I wasn't perceiving a face… it was just an energy that gave off that feeling.<br />
<br />
Was <i>that</i> transcendence?<br />
<br />
Whatever those moments were, I was filled with peace, love, and a deep, profound connectedness to these otherwise strangers, and to God. I was grateful that I got to partake in such tender moments, and it was very mind-opening to be exposed to other ways of reaching that same place, for the master was every bit as reverent and humble as any priest or minister I've encountered. <br />
<br />
Many paths?<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-68980220421277939712013-10-27T21:26:00.000-07:002013-10-27T21:26:12.620-07:00October 26, 2013: Tag... You're It!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0xB7FeHVcWk/Um3jrPTI72I/AAAAAAAAFoE/180e7_02sts/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0xB7FeHVcWk/Um3jrPTI72I/AAAAAAAAFoE/180e7_02sts/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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<i>View of Camelback mountain during my morning walk on the retreat grounds today...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Well, another week, another couple of business trips for Ang and me. <br />
<br />
I just got home tonight from working on the Grief and Loss Retreat in Phoenix, and Ang leaves for Philly at 5 am. She gets back on Halloween in the Afternoon, then heads back out next week for Minneapolis. Then, later in the month, I travel back to Jacksonville for the annual American Music Therapy Association conference to teach, reconnect, and serve as regional President-Elect (read: meetings meetings meetings! hahaha) That same week, Ang has to travel back to Minneapolis again.<br />
<br />
Thank God for Grandmas!<br />
<br />
The grief retreat was WONDERFUL. 20 participants, and FOUR of them were men! That's almost a record percentage... usually we have between 0 and 2 men. And... the four men all did GREAT work. It was great to watch as the men were all in their 60's and 70's, and men of that generation are traditionally and generally conditioned not to get in touch with their tender emotions, or share/show them publicly. There were so many great quotes and slides shared... I wanted to come back slingin' quotes for y'all! <br />
<br />
The biggest theme of the weekend was that grief is so subjective and personal. Even two people grieving the same person will grieve differently because their style plus their relationship to the loved one is unique. I heard a lot of participants having trouble with siblings or adult children wanting them to do grief according to the sibling or child's preference, not the participants. Further, it was amazing how many people were getting really inappropriate "professional advice" from family members regarding the need to go on medication because it had 'been too long' for them to still be upset.<br />
<br />
It was a relief for the participants to hear from each other the crazy things that well-meaning friends and family were heaping on them. We joked that we're going to make a book compiled from all the retreats called "The Stupid Things People Say..."<br />
<br />
Man, do we do grief poorly in our culture!<br />
<br />
Why do you think that is?<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<br />
<i>Enjoy some scenes from our local pumpkin patch!</i><br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-8910196516054219712013-10-20T23:17:00.002-07:002013-10-20T23:17:48.372-07:00October 20, 2013: How fast is your fall moving?<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w0yOTFJkOvU/UmTDiFpSR0I/AAAAAAAAFmU/YVYXRybwcUY/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w0yOTFJkOvU/UmTDiFpSR0I/AAAAAAAAFmU/YVYXRybwcUY/s400/photo+1.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
<br />
Holy Cow... life is moving so fast. This past week... WHOOOSH! hahahaha... seriously. I gotta slow down. Maybe because it was a short week because of our trip... yeah, that's it... hahaha. Most likely, it's because of last night and the lead up to it. Last night, I had the privilege of hosting the largest TEDx Youth event in the world. Now let me put that in perspective. In the TED world, there are TED talks and TEDx talks. About 3 years ago, TED licensed their brand out to independent organizers who had to apply for the right to create their own TEDx talks. Well, this idea EXPLODED. Last year, there were something like 6,000 TEDx events worldwide. Within the TEDx universe, a TEDxYouth galaxy began to grow, with events specifically for kids, by kids, with kids, etc. That is the realm I found myself last year when I walked out on stage as a TEDx speaker telling kids in that auditorium and online all about music therapy in 7 minutes. <br />
<br />
What I didn't realize was that the community that the organizers were building right in my back yard just happened to be the largest TEDxYouth community ANYWHERE. Just a really cool and lucky break for me to be a part of something like that and have some fun with bragging rights as to being the biggest TEDxYouth community in the world. It's cool to say that, but look, having 8 year olds sit and listen on a Saturday afternoon to 14 speakers give 7-10 minute talks about all sorts of inspiring topics and ideas... what an amazing nutrient-rich environment for their minds and spirits! If they are attending TEDx talks at 8,9, or 10... what will they be doing by 20? Getting to create the energy in the room for the audience and speakers throughout the event was the greatest privilege, because one thing I've learned along the way is that the second most valuable currency, besides time, is attention. Each of us chooses what we do with our time and our attention... we can invest it, spend it, waste it, but we can't save either, and we can't get either back. So, when I am on a stage, I recognize that a large group of people are choosing to give me their time and attention. Last night, that was about 600 kids and adults. Knowing that the MC is the source of the energy for the event... meaning if the person is lame, the energy in the room is lame, if the person is fun and upbeat, it totally changes the tenor of the whole event... I was really honored to have that responsibility. Also, since I'm roughly 11 years old mentally and emotionally, I fit right in!<br />
<br />
There were so many great moments, too many to mention, but I collapsed in bed really grateful to be a part of such an amazing movement. If you haven't gotten into TED talks, I recommend checking them out; they are really inspiring. Just got to TED.com and click on a topic that interests you, and listen and learn!<br />
<br />
On a different topic, I wanna tell you about two people that make me a better me:<br />
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The first person is my wife, Angelique. I am so proud of her. She loves what she does, excels at it, and is continuing to grow as a leader each and every year. It's really great to watch. Ang is more introverted than I am, but when it comes to laying it down at work, she doesn't hold back. She is POWERFUL, and not in an egoistic way. I can comment on this because we both share our home office on a part time basis and I get to hear how she leads conference calls, meetings, interviews, reviews with direct reports, etc, and you can just hear clarity, poise, confidence, commitment to quality, and "I know my Sh_t and if I don't, I'm gonna track it down no matter what" in her voice. The best thing is what you <i>don't</i> hear. You <i>don't </i>hear, "I know more than you," "Listen to how smart I am," "I don't like you so I don't care what you have to offer, I'm not listening." <br />
<br />
Have you ever 'heard' those phrases in the words of a colleague? It's like reading between the lines... or hearing what's behind what's being said... I don't know the best way to articulate it, but I think you recognize what I'm talking about. I never hear Ang's ego talking. I hear her knowledge, experience, and/or wisdom talking, but not her ego. It's not about her. That's a pretty refreshing thing to be around, right?<br />
<br />
Another person in my life I get that same vibe from is our praise band director, Dean. Dean is a world class musician, teacher, conductor, and producer, but there is NEVER any ego present when interacting or working with him on music... only golf. HA!!! (Sorry Dean, couldn't resist!) Seriously, though, when our praise band meets on Sunday mornings before worship, we come in, read through the music once, maybe twice, and then we're ready to rock. Dean let's each of us pretty much add whatever we hear in the music and is supportive no matter what. He keeps it fun. Our banter is always light, goofy, and silly while rehearsing, and I'm always joking that I can't get over how it's 'legal' for us to have so much fun and crack up so much rehearsing for worship! It's genuinely UP-LIFTING. I think (hope) that comes across in the music during the worship service. We genuinely love being there and seeing how we can best offer up the music to lift our congregation. Our attention is totally on the music... no egos. It's so refreshing. The musicianship of the group is really high; most of us are professional musicians and we can still jump in the sandbox on Sunday mornings and play like kids. <br />
<br />
Who do you work/play/live with that is like that? You know, just totally committed to the matter at hand...<br />
<br />
Ang and Dean make me a better me. Who makes you a better you?<br />
<br />
God night.<br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: center;"><i>Enjoy... these are from one of Bella's physical therapy sessions... check her out reaching for our PT's watch on my head... working on getting those hips to support her upright... Bella LOVED Eleanor's watch more than any toy! </i></span><br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-41742395467318292362013-10-14T21:05:00.005-07:002013-10-20T23:18:38.141-07:00October 14, 2013: Bella's Wings turn 3, and mommy and daddy celebrate life...<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry I'm late with this post; we just got home from a much needed getaway. Angelique's half brother got married last night in Atlantic Beach, FL, and we were there to celebrate. After considering the cost of 4 plane tickets, we decided to ask grandma and grandpa if they would watch the kids and we would use this trip as our upcoming 10th anniversary weekend. The real date is November 8, but we couldn't take that romantic getaway we envisioned 3 weeks after a trip across country, so we decided to combine the two! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The wedding was in the sand at high tide just before sunset. It was magical. We flew out 2 days before the wedding for our own little couple time, which was really nice. However, Friday wasn't just any old day to travel on... It was, well, October 11th, the day Bella earned her butterfly wings 3 years ago. I remember being holed up in my hotel room last year outside of Chicago getting ready to teach a continuing ed course for music therapists, and how miserable I was. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I can say is this year was decidedly different.</span></div>
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<i>Cards from our friends at Children's Cancer Research Fund (PUCK's parent organization), and Ronald McDonald House... two organizations that are pure class...</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, Angelique and I were together. As a family, our relationship and partnership comes first, over all others, including our children. So, being together on Friday helped, but at the same time, neither of us we're dreading the day the same as the past two years. There has been a lot of healing going on over the past year, and we are both in that phase - after you feel bad for so long, and you start to feel good - then, you feel bad because you are starting to feel good again... If you've lost a loved one before, you may know what that's like. It's weird. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When working on the grief retreat year after year, one of things I counsel participants on is the fact that you don't forget your loved one, it's just that the pain and sting connected to the memories fades over time, and you are left with the memories, and sometimes they may make you happy, and sometimes sad, but that jab of pain doesn't have to last. In fact, it's normal and natural for that feeling to come, hang out, and then over time, recede.... If we're willing to face the feelings, acknowledge them, FEEL them, and then be willing to release them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, we're moving through our grief, and this year, October 11 wasn't nearly as bad as last year, and for that I am grateful. It will always suck, don't get me wrong, the scar is permanent, but thank God it hurts less and less with each passing year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The piece that is hardest to deal with is that, while all that sting is receding, I feel somehow farther and farther away from Bella. I miss her. I will always cherish the 13 months we had with her before she was intubated, but I wish I got to see her amazing personality develop more before losing her. Having her only words be "Noooo!" And "Owwww," really bites. Can't fake that one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, life keeps flying. Ali has brownies tonight, Ang is working and traveling like crazy for a big project, and I'm hosting this year's TEDx youth event this Saturday, and officiating a wedding on Sunday! I hate the phrase, "Life goes on," but it does, and we can remain frozen in grief / frozen in time, or we can choose to move through time, remaining connected to those still with us, while honoring the memories of those who will be waiting for us when we earn our wings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every time I am on a plane, as it leaves the runway, I say a little prayer to God, relinquishing any illusion of control of my life while in the air. I close my eyes and see Bella, and see my dad, and know that if this be the day I return home, I will see them shortly. However, I'm not done down here, so if I might put in a request, it would be for me to return to land safely. There is more good work to be done. More books to publish, more talks to give, more songs to sing, and more people to hopefully touch in a positive way. Like at the end of the movie, "Gladiator," the freed slave says to his ancestors and loved ones, "I WILL see you again...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">... But not yet. Not yet." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God night.</span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-76755952558703727022013-10-06T23:14:00.003-07:002013-10-06T23:14:23.049-07:00October 6, 2013: Transformation...<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RKrR-EK1ERg/UlJOZ64NHpI/AAAAAAAAFk0/3Jw-UHUvISc/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RKrR-EK1ERg/UlJOZ64NHpI/AAAAAAAAFk0/3Jw-UHUvISc/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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Friday marked a big day.<br />
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My second book went off to layout design.<br />
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As a recovering perfectionist, that was one of those emails that has literally taken YEARS to send. <br />
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The book is a prequel to Bella's Blessings, and was actually began in 2003. I finished it in 2007, found a literary agent who shopped it unsuccessfully in 2008/2009, and then shelved it. <br />
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I was crushed by the rejection. I can still remember some of the feedback from publishers it was sent to. I will say agent gave up pretty quickly on me; they stopped sending it out after they got about 6 no's. That's not a lot, but the vibe they were getting was that I was basically a nobody, and the book is a memoir, and nobody is going to pick up a memoir by a nobody. Said another way, <i>celebrity</i> memoirs sell great, but I "didn't have a big enough platform" to sell from. <br />
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Well, then I wrote Bella's Blessings, and self-published. I figured, okay, I'll publish myself, and that way my tiny little platform can at least experience and benefit from my book. So, I sold a few hundred books, donated some money to some different charities before coming on board and making PUCK the main beneficiary, and got some nice letters about the inspiration people experienced reading it. <br />
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My plan was to release this book sooner, but I honestly lost faith in it after one of the comments from one of the publishers. The publisher said, "he's got a great marketing plan, now he just needs to write a better book." I let the comment persuade me that the book wasn't good. So, it just sat. <br />
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Now, I mentioned that I'm a recovering perfectionist, right? I also have a pretty thin skin, so dealing with rejection was just something I didn't want to deal with again. I have recently learned that fear of rejection is one of the principal human fears we all struggle with. I felt better after hearing that. <br />
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In addition, I recently made friends with another young speaker like myself, who also has a book out. His book was an amazon top seller, so I picked his brain on how he did it, and he helped me a ton. For one, the self-publishing business has changed a bunch since I released Bella's Blessings in 2009. Can you believe that? THREE years? Things move so fast now, it's just amazing.<br />
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So, my friend explained to me that there is a specific launch strategy that authors and publishers use to get books to post on best seller lists. I had heard T. Harv Ecker share this exact same strategy at a seminar 3 years ago, and now that I know a little more about it all, it makes a lot of sense. I also heard a hilarious comment from Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad/Poor Dad. He was talking to a reporter who was a struggling author. The author was complaining her books 'weren't going anywhere.' He suggested she take a sales training course and maybe study direct marketing. The author was offended. Then, he pointed out that on the cover of his book, it reads, "New York Times Best-Selling Author" NOT "Best-Writing Author." At this point, the would be author huffed off indignantly. <br />
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He reminded me in that story a piece of truth I learned in the music business which is that talent and success are not correlated. In fact, it seems like they are inversely related! Have you heard Robin Thicke's single? Really? It is the most successful single of the year, but is it the most talented? I'd argue it's pretty far from that! LOL. Point being, "TIM, PUBLISH YOUR BOOK. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH." <br />
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I titled the post Transformation because that is what the book is all about. It is a collection of short stories from my life where I transformed some situation from tragedy into triumph. Some of the stories are light-hearted and funny, and some are pretty intense. These stories represent the "training ground" where I developed my 'faith muscles.' Everything that happened in that book led me to be the dad I could be for Bella, and because YOU specifically read THIS blog, you will make that connection more than anyone else who reads the book.<br />
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As the recovering perfectionist, I also struggled with the fact that I have written over 500 blog posts on this blog not including Bella's Blessings since I wrote that book, and I'm pretty sure through all that practice, my writing has hopefully improved, so the book might not read well to those who have been following my later works. It's like listening to an artists' first record that didn't blow up until after their 3rd record finally charted. You go back and listen to their early material, and sometimes it sounds a bit immature by comparison. I have a real fear that people will think that about this book, and that is another reason I held onto it. I wouldn't have to find out if that was the truth or just my fear if I never released it.<br />
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Have you ever had a fear that once confronted, wasn't a tenth of what you painted it out to be? In other words, what's one thing you feared would happen, and when the day came, your fear never materialized? It's one thing to have fear, that's natural. But how often do you interrogate your fear? What is the probability of it happening? I get stuck focusing on a fear that maybe has a 5% chance of happening and magnifying that fear until it looks like 95% of the picture.<br />
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Hate when I do that.<br />
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Did you know I wrote and recorded and entire solo album in 2008, and then got caught up in the same conversation about it not being good enough? It goes with the book; the songs are related to many of the stories and some are straight out of the stories themselves. <br />
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I also created 2 7-module training guides for music therapists to help them get their career off the ground and running faster, but only published the first half of it, and have barely let anyone know it exists. That was in 2011.<br />
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Man I really get scared easily. I'm a creative person; I need to create. I create, but then I get too scared that my stuff isn't good enough, so I hide it, so I never have to find out. <br />
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Hahahaha I feel like I just outed myself or something. I think I am sharing all this because I can't bear to sit on all these creative works any more. I have to get them out, imperfect and all, and allow them to create value for those who they will benefit, and let the market decide if they are any good or not. I have ben so afraid of failure, that I have guaranteed it. I have been hearing A LOT lately that the way to succeed is to out-fail everyone else you compete with in the marketplace. <br />
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That is a complete transformation of thought from where I have been hiding on the sidelines.<br />
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Having said alllllll that, I have a favor to ask. I am struggling with my title. Now that you know what the book is about, would you mind telling me what title you like better? <br />
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1) "Full Circle: Life Lessons in Transforming Tragedy into Triumph" <br />
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2) "Count Your Blessings: Life Lessons in Transforming Tragedy into Triumph"<br />
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Thanks for your replies to this. I end a couple of the short stories with the concept of the story coming full circle, but "Count Your Blessings: memoirs of an 'unlucky kid," was my very first title, and while the second half of the title doesn't tell as much as the new second half, "count your Blessings" totally fits the stories, and ties "Bella's Blessings" to this book.<br />
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Okay, I'm gonna shut up now.<br />
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Thanks for helping me deal with all this. It's all been slamming around in my head for far too long.<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-86114877151849880292013-09-29T22:47:00.005-07:002013-09-29T22:47:43.219-07:00September 29, 2013: Meet our friends and neighbors, HEAL EB!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-93RRfHWIDLs/UkkPhlKPnUI/AAAAAAAAFkY/WhN8UcJerMw/s1600/photo+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-93RRfHWIDLs/UkkPhlKPnUI/AAAAAAAAFkY/WhN8UcJerMw/s400/photo+5.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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Holy cow. Boy, is summer over.<br />
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What I'm specifically referring to is the pace of fall... back to school, church school, brownies, music lessons, etc. We are r-u-n-n-i-n-g from week to week right now. Don't ask me how we are planning anything if it is more than a week out. We don't have an answer! LOL. Tuesday was school pictures already! Friday was school campout, Saturday was Church concert at our regional retreat center... feeling like a gerbil on a wheel right now.<br />
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Please tell me this is happening to you, too?<br />
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Speaking of questions, thanks for the responses to my latest question! I inevitably pushed a few buttons in my effort to hear from you all who have walked with us for so long. Over the past two weeks, I've asked very specific questions in an effort to just hear more about who you are and what you are up to. I like conversation because it's interactive. Blogging isn't quite the same, and I'm going to try on my part to continue to ask questions to spark dialogue... and I promise to tone it down and retire the "lurker" comment. It's a word that can actually be taken offensively, and even though I don't mean it that way, consider it retired.<br />
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Back to the subject of this post. Meet our friends, Heather and Ryan Fullmer! They founded Heal EB, a non-profit to fund EB research and raise awareness. Their son, Michael, has EB. They are from northern California, but recently moved down to Orange County, where we live, and are really only about 15 minutes from us! <br />
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We had the chance to get together a while back for breakfast and I think I might have mentioned them before. Michael is absolutely adorable, and it was great to see Ali and him play, since Ali is a vet when it comes to hanging with a kid with bandages. She didn't even bat an eye. Ryan and I have been keeping in touch pretty regularly and they are throwing their first EB awareness event down here in Orange County coming up in early October. If you live here locally, will you consider coming out and supporting them? Unfortunately, Angelique and I will be out of town at Ang's little brother's wedding in Florida, so we can't make it. However, it's at the Discovery Science Center, which is always a fun day/night out for any family. If you haven't made a trip there recently, please consider making your pilgrimage there for this event so we can help continue to support EB research!<br />
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You can learn more about them at <a href="http://www.healeb.org/">www.healeb.org</a><br />
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God night!<br />
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Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-57640871887702986352013-09-22T23:11:00.000-07:002013-09-22T23:11:00.925-07:00September 22, 2013: What's a boy gotta do?<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YrOxvwC16k4/Uj_Y-tRwdxI/AAAAAAAAFjE/zIi7LG0B0Mk/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YrOxvwC16k4/Uj_Y-tRwdxI/AAAAAAAAFjE/zIi7LG0B0Mk/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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What's a boy gotta do to get some interaction around here???<br />
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2 comments? Sheesh! I was hoping for a little more than that! Oh well, Lurk on. ;-)<br />
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What a week.<br />
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What an AMAZING week.<br />
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On Tuesday, Ang, my good friend and ROCK STAR music therapy colleague Kat Fulton, and I went to a business/success seminar at the Anaheim Convention Center. We saw Les Brown (amazing), Terry Bradshaw (so-hilarious-you-swore-he'd-been-drinking), Tom Hopkins (educational and funny), and many others, but the highlight (for me) was definitely Mark Kelly. It was pretty cool when he introduced his wife, Gabby Giffords as well, but I wanted to hear from Mark. <br />
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You probably know Gabby's story, but I don't know if you know Mark's. As you know Congresswoman Giffords was shot in the head and pronounced dead while Mark and his family were enroute to see her. Imagine seeing CNN pronounce your spouse dead on national TV while you are racing to see them one last time. How messed up is that? What a roller coaster that must have been for the whole family. Anyway, in addition to being Gabby's caregiver, Mark was the shuttle commander of the Endeavor for its final journey into space. While Gabby was in the hospital, he piloted that thing into space, to the space station, and back again. What kind of superhuman focus does THAT take??? <br />
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One of the most inspiring things he shared was this: <br />
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How you start out in something is not a good indicator of success. <br />
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After Commander Kelly's first landing on an aircraft carrier long before becoming an astronaut, his commanding officer asked him, "Are you sure you want to do this as a career?" NOT the most inspiring comment your C.O. could make. He went on to share that he was not really a good pilot... at first, but he worked his ____ off and rose through the ranks, flew in the Iraq war, and eventually went to NASA. Not too shabby for a poor starter. It gave me a lot of confidence, and reminded me that it's not how you start, it's how you finish. It ain't where you been, it's where you're goin'.<br />
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I ran into a fellow TEDx speaker coach at the event as well. We are both coaching teens that are giving TEDx talks next month. One of the opportunities for further training and development was for a stock trading course, which she signed up for, and then invited me as her guest! So, yesterday and today, we attended a 2 day course on learning how to trade stocks and how to take back control over our investment and retirement accounts. It was so empowering! As you know, this past year I have really taken on growing my ability to understand and manage money better than ever. Since May, I have learned a lot, and I still have a lot to learn. However, I am sooo grateful that ANY OF US can change course in ANY area of life AT ANY TIME if we simply choose to. It really is awesome. I have never felt better about my understanding and relationship with money... which is kind of important, right? <br />
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I don't want to retire broke, and the statistics in the US about how many people will retire broke today is alarming. Plus, I don't want to feel stupid when it comes to being a good steward of the money we are working so hard to squirell away! So this weekend, my colleague and I had the blinders torn off us! It was so liberating! I now understand how people make money in the stock market, and folks, holy cow, it is not nearly as confusing as I made it out to be in my head. <br />
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One of the amazing things I love is life long learning. It is great to know that if there is something you want to get better at, you can just go out and read a book, subscribe to a magazine or website, take a course or seminar, hire a mentor or coach, etc. NOBODY is stopping you or me from learning ANYTHING we want. I know it is not like this everywhere in the world, and I am grateful for this privilege. <br />
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In addition to attending two totally inspiring events, I had the opportunity to give TWO talks this week on the benefits of music therapy. I love teaching people about what I call "the third space for music." In our culture, music occupies two spaces in most people's head: entertainment and education. To literally create "a third space" in people's head for music is such a great experience, because everyone intuitively knows what I'm talking about since we all use music therapeutically already!<br />
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On the home front, Ang had to go to Houston this weekend to deliver some training for her company, and the feedback was off the charts! I'm so proud of her. She is kicking butt and taking names in her job right now (as if she ever isn't... the girl has the most amazing professional work ethic and track record... she constantly inspires me to be better at everything I do).<br />
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Ali started Brownies! Holy cow, seeing her in her Brownie vest... what a big girl she's become! Second grade is going well; she loves her new teacher. Back to school night was this past week, too, and I have to agree with Ali about her new teacher... she rocks! Super organized and totally laid back at the same time... great combination. <br />
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Julian is running faster and faster by the day, and he runs his mouth even faster! (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree). I am home with him part time right now, and it is so much fun; it feels illegal! He is just such a blessing; I am beyond tickled to play/watch/read hours and hours of Thomas and Friends!<br />
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So... what area of life do YOU want to learn more / get better at?<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-69581878306645006512013-09-15T22:48:00.001-07:002013-09-15T22:48:56.466-07:00September 15, 2013: What is YOUR central question?Heaveno!<br />
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What is the question you seek to answer each day?<br />
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Mine is the following:<br />
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"How do I inspire a million people a year EVERY year?"<br />
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I ask this question every morning as a part of my morning ritual of powerful questions, statements, meditation, and planning. I feel like if I can deliver on this, then I will be of good use to God and his children.<br />
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Do you HAVE a central, primary question that drives you, guides you?<br />
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If so, what is it?<br />
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If not, what would it be?<br />
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Take a moment to think, create, and share. This community has been lurking a little too much lately and not commenting... which is partly my fault for not engaging you with questions to answer I guess. <br />
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I look forward to reading your comments!<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-91981755204296198652013-09-08T20:19:00.001-07:002013-09-08T20:19:16.235-07:00September, 8, 2013: Pay it Forward... <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EqIBFzKgaF8/Ui0o8tO1xlI/AAAAAAAAFh4/hgE6UrSbJAE/s1600/IMG_0496.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EqIBFzKgaF8/Ui0o8tO1xlI/AAAAAAAAFh4/hgE6UrSbJAE/s400/IMG_0496.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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First, big thanks to grandma and grandpa for throwing me a wonderful birthday meal last night! <br />
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Throughout my journey with and after Bella, I have met several people who have helped me out as a result of being inspired by our story. Well, this week, I had the opportunity to do the same. <br />
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Meet my new friend Mikey Oliveri.<br />
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Mikey has Muscular Distrophy. At 6'2", he all but 75 pounds. He is a young man who has chosen to live independently despite his diagnosis. <br />
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See, according to Mikey, he's not handicapped, he's handicapable. Mikey hasn't let his diagnosis define or limit him. Watch the video, "Hey Richard, it's Mikey," on his blog which I have linked below. It's amazing. My good friend, Joe Polish, found Mikey's video online and was immediately inspired by him and before you know it, Joe left a voice mail on my phone with him and Mikey on the line! It was clear that Joe wanted Mikey and I to connect; Joe is a master connector.<br />
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So, I hopped on the phone Friday night and spoke with this young man. He shared with me his story and his challenges, and we realized we were definitely cut from the same cloth in terms of how we think about life. It was also serendipitous that we are both curriculum graduates of Landmark Education, a seminar company the has some really powerful personal development programs.<br />
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Mikey just wants to live a typical life of a young man his age, but his diagnosis creates some pretty serious challenges, and recently his stomach stopped working, requiring him to get a J-tube placed for nutrition. He just wants to go out with his friends, live independently, and, well, just live.<br />
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Despite these challenges, he still wants to be the first disabled person to go to space. How awesome a vision is THAT? He already holds the record for the highest sky-dive of a disabled person, and was able to fly in the Zero-Gravity Jet recently with his sister. He said it was the first time he didn't feel disabled, because there was no gravity weighing him down. With muscular dystrophy, he lacks any muscle tone to move his body against gravity through space. Well, in Zero-G, that experience disappears. <br />
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So, Joe knowing what I've been through and how I've worked to transform my tragedies into triumphs, put us together, and Mikey shared something with my that blew my mind. He gives inspirational talks at schools and to groups, but declines getting paid, because he's afraid to earn money, because it will kick him out of the social security system. He doesn't understand how to get paid to share his inspirational story and amazing attitude. So, he remains trapped mentally. <br />
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I began to wonder how many people are stuck in that same conversation. How many people are afraid to try and make a go of it on their own, when the government gives them $ - and will pull that $ if they work? I told him about the amazing man, Sean Stephenson, the 3'2" wheelchair-bound man who saved my marriage. Sean has brittle bone disease, but hasn't let thatt stop him from becoming a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and all around inspiration. I met Sean through Joe (told you Joe is the master connector!) back in 2009, and he provided me a single coaching call that changed the trajectory of my marriage. <br />
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So, I decided it was time to pay it forward and help Mikey create a bigger vision.<br />
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We talked about his desire to be free from the system, and that if he could figure out how to do it, he could then teach others just like him how to do it, too. Especially, because much of the roadblock is just fear of the unknown. Now, Mikey is FIRED UP. He's got a big following online, and he's going to create a timeline for getting free from system, and we're gonna do what we can to share the resources and tools he'll need to learn how to get paid (well) to share his (flipping unimaginably inspirational) story so that he can make it on his own.<br />
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Meanwhile, he's driving himself to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN this week to see if the GI team there can figure out what's wrong with his stomach, because no one else is willing or able to explain why it shut down. P.S. I'll be on email shortly with the docs at U of M for a few referrals as well.<br />
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Will you share his story and videos please? He's amazing. Make sure to watch the <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/trip-to-minnesota-clinic-to-save-a-life">Indiegogo campaign video</a> as well.<br />
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Go to <a href="http://www.mikeywheels.com/">his blog </a>and share it with your peeps. Many people have made this request about THIS blog... I now humbly ask that you do the same for Mikey.<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-78924130703862413822013-09-01T23:55:00.002-07:002013-09-01T23:56:35.839-07:00September 1, 2013: Fit and Fun at 41!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pJm4XcLnREg/UiQz_Xlrs7I/AAAAAAAAFhY/u4IlClDq81o/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pJm4XcLnREg/UiQz_Xlrs7I/AAAAAAAAFhY/u4IlClDq81o/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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Well, it's Sunday night, and yesterday I turned 41! I just had the most wonderful birthday thank on three fronts:<br />
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1) Got travel points? My wife Angelique surprised me Friday night with an overnight trip for the whole family to San Diego! All that summer travel payed off! We stayed right on the marina waterfront in downtown at the Marriott Marquis. The attendant at the front desk gave us a beautiful room overlooking the pool and the marina beyond it. We invited our good friends the McGoverns, who live kind of close to SD, to come on down and play with us and they did! After a FOUR HOUR drive from Orange County (usually takes an hour and a half), we decompressed in the pool with the McGoverns, then changed and ate at the poolside grill for dinner. I invited a close friend and colleague, Kat Fulton to come down for food, and she mentioned that our mutual friend and colleague, Lauren B. was in town that day, so they met up with us for dinner, and we all sat around the fire pit on the deck having a blast! When it was time to take the kids upstairs, we walked in our room, and within about 5 minutes, a fireworks show went off in the bay right outside our marina! We were 7 stories up, so our view was perfect! Then, we slept in, hit the pool again this morning, then took a tour in one of those buses that turns into a boat, and cruised around in the San Diego harbor checking out seals and sea lions and all kinds of sail boats; the Tall Ships Festival was happening this weekend, so we saw a lot of beautiful sailing ships as well. Then we headed back to Orange County tonight, and the kids (and Ang) have CRASHED! I'm still hopped up on the coffee from the drive home ... and ...<br />
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2) Arsenal BEAT Tottenham 1-0 today!!! GOD LOVE THE DVR!!! I set it before we left town, and got to watch the game tonight! I know, I know, this probably means nothing to you, but I am a diehard Arsenal fan, and this is a BIG rivalry in England, and there is a subplot beneath it, which is that... hahaha, wait a minute, you really don't care! LOL I was just about to go on and gush about all kinds of details that if you're not a fan, really aren't worth reading about! Sigh. It's hard to be an Arsenal fan in southern California. Let's just say that if you can even FIND a english football fan, they are probably a Manchester United or Chelsea or Liverpool fan, so, well, I'm lonely. :( hahahahaha weep weep weep! Moving on...<br />
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3) I am not really good at planning or organizing, so I launched my giving up my birthday for EB campaign after my last blog post, and sent out maybe 5 days of messages on Facebook about it. I'm sorry I didn't even have the foresight last week to mention it on here! We created a new personal fundraising page on the PUCK website where you could host an online fundraiser right through our website. Nice and easy! This was the first time I used it, and it worked great! It's also the most money I've raised in three years of giving up my birthday for EB. You can see the campaign if you <a href="http://www.ebhope.com/">CLICK HERE</a>.<br />
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I originally set my goal for $500, but I blew past it within like 3 days! So, I decided to really go for it and I doubled my goal to $1000 but came up a little short, but the campaign is technically still open, so if you would like to support the docs in Minnesota with their work, please feel free! Every buck counts. That's how we've collectively raised over a million dollars in less than 3 years for the U of M! Lots of organizations raising a little here and a little there, sometimes a bunch here, and a bunch there, and like I said, within 3 years, the docs have the funding to test their elegant ideas, and lo and behold, they work! <br />
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If you ever feel moved or called to do a fundraiser to support the EB research at the U of Minnesota, it's really easy to set up an event - the money goes straight through PUCK to U of M, so you don't have to collect any money, you just send people to your page and they do the rest! <a href="http://support.childrenscancer.org/site/TR/Events/personalfundraising?pg=tgreeting&fr_id=1180">CLICK HERE</a> to learn more.<br />
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The one thing I've learned over the past three years is that giving up your birthday is a really easy way to fundraise. I heard two other speakers talk about it when Bella passed away, and I thought it was a novel idea, and because of the viral nature of social media, it makes it so easy. I just sent out I think 5 or 6 updates over the week on my FB page, and then sent a single email to a group of people that contributed to it last year. <br />
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It wasn't like I had to do an event or sell anything to give a portion of the proceeds... it was much simpler, and frankly more efficient since 100% of the money given went straight to the U of M. That's the point! It probably took me 20 minutes to set up my page, and a combined extra 40 minutes to send out my email and my handful of FB posts. Not bad for an hour's worth of work, right?<br />
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I'm sharing all this because a comment I hear a lot from friends and supporters is that they want to help out, but they are intimidated to take on doing a fundraising event. I agree! I am TOTALLY intimidated right now with the golf tournament we are holding in less than 2 months! I get it! So, if you want to get involved, make it easy on yourself, and do a birthday campaign. I can't think of an easier way to share the cause and raise a few bucks! Email me at timothy@puckfund.org if you have any specific questions or need any help along the way!<br />
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To close, the journey from 40 to 41 was AWESOME. What a gift. I was blessed in so many ways this past year, and I am even more optimistic about this next year. Thank you for continuing to stay connected with me and my family and the whole journey. It's all a journey; sometimes it's a comedy, sometimes an action/adventure, but even though there are challenges and sadness, I don't see it as a tragedy, because no triumph or success worth experiencing was won without challenge, setback, and/or sometimes a genuine boot to the teeth. In the end, I don't want to reach the finish line of life having snuck through the game taking it easy. I want to arrive bloodied, bruised, and battered, having left every ounce of energy on the field of life. I want to look my maker in the eye and say I gave everything I had in me to make this world a littler better off. I want to gaze at my daughter Bella and say, "I did everything I could to honor you, both while you were here, and after you left," and have her smile, and beam back at me, "I know you did daddy, and you did a GREAT job," and then feel the warmth of my maker reply, "I agree..."<br />
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So this next year, I'll continue to play ALL OUT...<br />
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... like my life depends on it...<br />
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See you on the playing field!<br />
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God night.<br />
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<br />Bella's Blessingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09372603162401786615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257209375427878024.post-37352739960673728942013-08-26T14:55:00.001-07:002013-08-26T14:55:11.490-07:00August 24: NYC pt 2, Ali starts grade 2, and Julian TURNS 2!<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9fFDnn9XSbg/Uhr0UGDiHZI/AAAAAAAAFgc/yA14aorxxls/s1600/photo4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9fFDnn9XSbg/Uhr0UGDiHZI/AAAAAAAAFgc/yA14aorxxls/s400/photo4.JPG" width="300" /></a><br />
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Heaveno!<br />
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What a great week.<br />
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First off, THANK YOU to TLF for your comment last week. It was mind-blowing, heart-warming, and totally the cup of water I need to keep blogging. I appreciate YOU and how much courage your life changes have required, and you made them anyway! AWESOME. Just AWESOME. Thank you for your generosity in offering credit to the blog; I have a new "tag line' on my new business cards I just made, and it is "INSPIRATION DELIVERED DAILY." By you sharing the impact the blog has had for you, I get to know that I am making good on my promise to do just that. Thank you for sharing!!!<br />
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Alright, first... THE J-MAN turns TWO!<br />
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Thursday was Julian's second birthday, and yesterday we threw the big guy a party. Being that he is completely infatuated with trains, we took him to our nearby Irvine Regional Park and took him on the train there. Then, we picked up Ali, and had some fun in the pool. He opened some of his gifts, which of course included various Thomas the Train toys. Yesterday, he opened more Thomas the Train toys, actually much to my delight. I really like the train toys! Thomas is a little prissy and annoying for me, but the stories usually have a good moral for young boys to learn, and the "Thomas universe (island of Sodor, Misty Island, etc) is really pretty and reminds me of home in Connecticut where I grew up. <br />
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<i>Awesome Thomas cake made by Grandpa!</i><br />
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We had a bunch of friends and family to the house yesterday and we spent much of the afternoon in the pool. I gotta tell ya what a water baby Julian is! He LOVES IT. HE loves to jump in, to dunk, to get launched, to go under, all of it. He's just so happy and joyful in the water... his belly laugh lights up the whole pool and everyone there always enjoys watching him delight over the experience. It was fun, too because the friends were the same friends that all came to Ali's 2nd b-day party 5 years ago, and it was neat to see them all grown and in the pool swimming together. Good times.<br />
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Watching all of Ali's 2nd grade classmates play together in line before the first day of school had a similar "my, look how they've grown" quality to it. These kids were so little 2 years ago in kindergarten, and watching them all together on Wednesday morning, I had that moment - you know - that moment where you can't believe how big they got over the summer! Funny stuff. Anyway, Ali loves her new teacher, which makes us happy, and we already like how organized the new teacher is as well!<br />
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I love being a parent.<br />
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Alright, gotta share two more pieces of New York:<br />
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First, There is NOTHING like shopping in Times Square at 12:15 am on a Wednesday night while face timing with the kids back in California and taking them to the Disney Store to shop for souvenirs! See, everyone in Times Square at that hour is either a uniformed police officer, or a tourist, so lord knows what time zone they are from and what hour it is for them. All I know is that the Disney Store is open to 1am... that's a FAR CRY from life in suburbia! hahahaha. Now, don't be jumping in to tell me how late the store is open in Downtown Disney, I'm sure that's late, too. NYC truly is the city that never sleeps!<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Aside from getting to sit next to one of my role models and mentors, Mr. Brendon Buchard, and aside from getting to have dinner with and talk with another hero, Dr. John Hagelin, and aside from becoming friends - or at least acquaintances with Dr. Peter Diamandis, the real unexpected moment in the trip was when Renee Airya gave the talk of the event. Her talk was titled, "Flip Your Flaws," and it was only 10 minutes long. Like a TED talk, however, it was LOADED with power. Renee was a model who developed a brain tumor. When they operated, they accidentally cut her facial nerve, paralyzing the right side of her face. She had to wear an eye patch, because she could no longer blink. However, while in the recovery room, she informed her surgeon that she would smile again. </span><br />
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He smiled, then told her it was not medically possible.<br />
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6 months later, she had regained 60% of her smile.<br />
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How?<br />
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By staring into a mirror every day and willing her self to do so.<br />
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She literally retrained and rewired her brain. <br />
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Thanks to recent breakthroughs in understanding the brain, we know of this concept of 'neuroplasticity;' of the brain's ability to rewire itself around trauma sites to recoup functions it has lost. Renee's story is nothing short of a miracle, but it is a miracle she caused.<br />
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Up until her talk, however, she was still self-conscious because 40% of that smile still remains 'frozen,' and so she wore her hair over that side of her face...<br />
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...until this talk. She pulled it back in a pony tail to 'expose' all of herself. She admitted at the beginning of the talk that she was terrified to give the talk, and terrified to expose herself so vulnerably, but she believed that living with shame over 'a flaw' kept her from reaching her potential, and from reaching the people in the world she wants to help through her message and story. <br />
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I sat in my seat, FIXED on every word.<br />
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For more than 20 years, I have allowed my own perceived flaws to cause me to feel shame and hide out from fully realizing my potential. I have fought demons and merciless self critics inside who have labeled me, "defective, fundamentally flawed, terminally discontent, and fundamentally broken." I have arisen every morning to a feeling of anxiety and dread, because I KNEW that 'something was wrong...' since <i>I </i>was fundamentally wrong, some part of my day was going to go wrong... that was the default experience first thing in the morning. I strove to over achieve so that I could 'cover up' my flaws and 'atone' for my fundamental mistake... just being me. <br />
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I watched and listened to Renee systematically shed her shame and reveal herself to the room in real time. And I wasn't the only person to witness this. When she finished, the entire room rose to its feet and cheered for her. It was the most heart-felt response to any talk over the two days and 34 speakers we ended up having. After the applause settled down, Joe asked the audience if anyone wanted to share what they got out her talk. <br />
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My hand shot straight up and felt like it touched the ceiling, some 20 feet above me.<br />
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Joe called on me, and I walked up to the microphone, shaking. I raised my hand, and said, "How many others of you in here besides me are struggling with some sort of serious flaw?" <br />
My voice cracked, and I just remained silent as I watched about 150 of the 200 business men and women quietly, slowly, but purposefully raise their hands in solidarity. <br />
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I didn't ask so that Renee wouldn't feel alone, I asked so <i>I</i> wouldn't feel alone. I started crying, because as I said to Renee while on the mic, that feeling of shame has held me back for my entire adult life, and in watching her leave it behind on that stage, I chose to leave it behind when I stood up to speak. Now, at this point, another round of applause went up and I walked over to Renee completely balling at this point and just hugged her in thanks... thanks for having the courage to lay it all out there on the line in front of EVERYONE. She reminded me that when we lay it all out on the line for our fellow brothers and sisters, it creates a vacuum of reciprocity and permission for those around us to automatically shed any pretense and do the same. So, I gave up my shame... in that room... on that day... in that city. <br />
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I left it there.<br />
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I am free from shame! hahaha! It feels so good! I have actually had the experience that everything is okay, and there is nothing wrong with me, with the day, with life, etc. for the past 10 days, and boy, it feels AMAZING. I share this story with you, because I KNOW that many of us feels like we have some sort of flaw. Some of us take a pretty good attitude with this, but for many, we let our flaws beat us up - either from time to time or regularly. I realized this past week, that it was as simple as making a decision to give that up. So simple. This might sound like "Tales of the Obvious" to some, but please understand, I'm not special, I'm not different... if I've felt that way, and if Renee's felt that way, and if all those people in that room who obviously resonated with Renee have felt that way, I'm guessing a few of you reading this have too, and if I could give JUST. ONE. PERSON. the feeling of liberation I've experienced, I will have done my duty to pass on this gift Renee gave me. <br />
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Thank you, Renee!<br />
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God night.<br />
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