Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Time To Get Ready

(Go watch new video "Bella Bouncing outta her Bouncy seat" for a laugh before you start reading)

I had one of those rare, authentic, unplanned conversations this morning that I'm going to start with to get this update going.

I visited a wonderful store/studio today called Soul At Home ( on the way back from my second trip to daycare. I say second, because I had to return with the forgotten pieces of Bella's feeding apperati. We were rushing to get out, Bella was having a meltdown... I'm sure all you parents can relate. In fact, WHEN you comment (wink wink) on this post, share THE ITEM you once forgot that first comes to mind. could have been yesterday, could have been in 1975. It'll make us all feel better. Just say the name of the item, not the whole story why; it'll be MUCH funnier that way!

Anyway, I've been driving past this place for years, and I always thought it probably was a cool furniture/knick-knack store that was too pricey for me to walk into.

Recently, my colleague Chelsea Davis told me about this great facility in Tustin that provides yoga, massage, concerts... all kinds of cool events. Its name? Soul at Home.


I thought is was a furniture store!

So, I needed to go to CVS to pick Ali up some toothpaste, so I pulled in just for fun to check it out. I left an hour later with 3 business cards of various staff, healers, and program directors that I ended meeting and connecting with while inside.

The place was amazing. If they sold coffee and had wi-fi, I'd make it my new home-office. (They're probably cool precisely because they don't have wi-fi, and give away healthy tea in real cups for you to enjoy.)

Anyhow, while there a couple of things surfaced inside some really profound and powerful conversations.

To summarize, we have been consciously "fattening up" Bella to prepare her for transplant and to prepare her body in case of infection or absorption issues. We know we need to stay ahead on the calories with EB, and we've done a good job with that. What was revealed to me today was how much time I spent building up Bella with music pre and postnatally, and what a miraculous difference that made at that crucial time, AND how I once again have the opportunity to build her mind and spirit as well before the journey through transplantation.

Not only that, but I have the opportunity to build my own body, mind, and spirit as well as mommy's and Ali's.

We will all be walking through the valley of BMT together, each with our own view, but all on the same path.

Check this out:

Our targeted landing date in MN currently is June 10.
Between travel, settling in, work-up tests/procedures, the clinical trial itself, and heading home, we're gonna be looking at around 107-114 days in MN.

Distance to June 10?

113 days.

Weeks we prepared for Bella's arrival? 39

Weeks she's been with us? 38

We are standing on the side of a mathematical coin right now.

I remember, week in and week out, praying and thanking God for a healthy baby. I recently had a friend confide in me that he was wounded spiritually for a few months recently when he realized after all his prayers, Bella wasn't recovering from this condition. It would be easy for me to slip in that same puddle after all the nights I prayed for that baby while she was still in the womb. In fact, I felt guilty at birth that I must not have prayed enough, otherwise why else would God do this, and why else wouldn't He or She answer my prayers?

Well, we prepared in every way we new how for Bella's arrival, and when she did, EVERY MINUTE of that preparation was called into action to handle the left turn we experienced at childbirth. THANK GOD we DID that preparation. Those prayers weren't to strengthen God, or Bella, they were to strengthen ME. My "spiritual muscles" were primed and IN SHAPE when Bella arrived. Good thing, too! I had to do some HEAVY LIFTING to sort out this situation as it was HURTLING itself at us. (Does life every really come at you any other way?) Now, do we really have any idea how this BMT is going to go? Of course not. We can forecast and predict, but folks, two kids died in this procedure. Obviously no predicted that. We understand the risk.

Good thing we prepared for Bella's birth.
Now it's time to prepare for her re-birth.

The clock is ticking.

Say with me:

With each breath I take,
I nurture myself
with each breath I give,
I nurture my world around me.

It's time to get ready.

P.S. Bella rules.
P.P.S. Ali Rules.

Ali rockin' the face paint at Disneyland yesterday!


  1. wait? you only want 1 tantrum incident?
    hard for me to recall one...but, I will say that from birth to about 8 months, Molly pretty much screamed in her carseat, from point A to point B.
    Even if that distance was 4 minutes to the market. And she never made herself tired....stinker.

    Soul AT Home, eh?
    My mom and my sister have a homemade greeting card business *stamping and girlie things...
    And they ONLY sell at their store...It's called...
    Card-i-ology, cards that touch the heart...

    We are praying for you!

  2. Your an AWESOME mommy!!! Just thought I would say that.

  3. I once forgot Ben. Yup, in his car seat, sitting right there on the laundry room floor. It was only a few minutes, but still. Now that's he's nearly 3, it would be impossible to forget him because he never stops talking REALLY LOUD!

    Such a moving, glorious post. We will be in Minnesota from late June to mid August and want to support you in any way we can. Mmmmwwwwaaaaaa!!

  4. My heart, love and prayers are with you all in this preparation and rebirth in MN. As you know, our prayers are ALWAYS answered. Often it is not the answer we THOUGHT we wanted or expected, but it turned out to be the right one. It is always is. Sending love.

  5. Diapers. Went to the mall, Jim offered diaper duty so I could xmas shop and no diapers in the bag. Another dad walked in the bathroom, saw Jim's face and Nolan on the changing table, naked and walked out. He came back in 2 minutes with a diaper in the correct size. Providence, good timing, luck, whatever...I'm still married because of that guy! Love you all, Jen

  6. Hey there just wanted to say you have a beautiful family and I continue to believe and pray for your Bella to be strong and thrive through a long wonderful life! We may not always understand what we are given or what God is doing but we can continue to ask for great things. After all He says "ask and you shall receive" :)
    Jessica Klein