Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Where does the time go?
Seriously. I turn around, and a day, a week, a month, a YEAR goes by.
Faster, and faster and faster.
Intellectually, I understand that the sum of my life can be represented by a pie graph, and if you keep subdividing that pie by inserting another year, each year represents a smaller and smaller piece of the pie.
I get that.
But seriously. Right now, I feel like time is winning. I feel like life is going by faster than my ability to 'stay on top of it.'
Can you relate?
I feel like there is just this endless sense of running to keep up with the latest 7 commitments coming down the pike, whether it be for Ang's or my work, for Ali's school, for family, for friends, etc. I am feeling like life is moving faster than I am and I can't seem to keep up.
Ever feel that way?
I want to simplify. I want to STOP. Or so I think. Sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out for this fast paced life. Yet, in order to earn more, so my kids have more options for school and extra-curricular enrichment, I feel like I am not moving fast enough. I want to slow down when the world is saying, "KEEP UP! In fact, SPEED UP!"
I know you know what I mean.
How do you cope with it all?
In local news, Julian got his stitches out on Friday. Good thing I have been to hell and back with Bella, because getting those stitches out was nothing short of awful.
Yeah, that sucked. I asked the pediatrician, only half joking, "Got any versed?"
"So... what would you say you DO here?"
Yeah, yeah, don't get all up in arms... I know it's a doctor's office and they don't have an onsite pharmacy... I get it. I'm just being funny here. It's funny to me that the stitches go in in the emergency room where you are lucky to have access to meds to make your kid mellow... even then, we had me singing to him, the Child Life Specialist playing a Thomas the Train video on the iPad she held over his head, a baby-straight-jacket, and a nurse holding his head steady... all on top of the meds!
In the li'l old examination room, to get those buried stitches out, we had, a dusty baby-straight-jacket, me holding his head like a grape while singing, and a nurse failing totally at holding a book up for him to see and reading to him... oh, and no drugs.
I used to have to disassociate emotionally during Bella's wound care and genuinely NOT see my baby girl, but just see 'an arm' or 'a foot' in order to cope. Well, as Julian screamed so hard the bridge of his nose started sweating, I had to do it all over again and just really focus on one suture at a time and try to anticipate his jerks and pouts so the doc had a clear shot at these diabolically tight sutures.
Hey, it's a good thing on the scar/no scar front that there were 6 of them and they were really tightly sewn, but unfortunately the skin had grown over the knots, so it was crazy hard for the doc to dig her way under them... imagine having a big cut on a really sensitive part of your face where the tweezers are plucking your eye brows accidentally while the scissors are literally digging into your freshly healed wound. Then imagine you are 20 months old with three giants hovering over you, and then throw in the baby-straight jacket and board he was on.
All in a day at the office of having a little boy, right? :-o
In other news, the weekend was busy catching up with old friends - my last roommate before moving in with Ang, whom I've only seen once in 9 years, and that was at Bella's AZ memorial. He lives in NorCal and brought the family down to Disneyland for two days, and we caught up with them for brunch before they hit the road back north. His daughter is 6 and his son is 2, so it was a perfect play date at the fountain!
We also celebrated a baby shower for two dear friends who are having their second this summer. I officiated their wedding in Hawaii in 2007, and since then, have married off or are marrying off just about all of the rest of the couples in their friend circle by this summer. Some of them have kids of their own now, so it was really sweet to see these growing families together, and to know that I was blessed to be a tiny part of starting those families on their way.
And yet, we missed another dear friend's daughter's b-day, and a soccer game... and that is simply what it's like these days. Again, intellectually I know that I can't be in all places and do all things, but sometimes even though fun was had, the weekend still feels like a draw.
Blessed for what I have... blessed for what I have... blessed for what I have....