Heaveno!
Where does the time go?
Right?
Seriously. I turn around, and a day, a week, a month, a YEAR goes by.
Faster, and faster and faster.
Intellectually, I understand that the sum of my life can be represented by a pie graph, and if you keep subdividing that pie by inserting another year, each year represents a smaller and smaller piece of the pie.
I get that.
But seriously. Right now, I feel like time is winning. I feel like life is going by faster than my ability to 'stay on top of it.'
Can you relate?
I feel like there is just this endless sense of running to keep up with the latest 7 commitments coming down the pike, whether it be for Ang's or my work, for Ali's school, for family, for friends, etc. I am feeling like life is moving faster than I am and I can't seem to keep up.
Ever feel that way?
Ugh.
I want to simplify. I want to STOP. Or so I think. Sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out for this fast paced life. Yet, in order to earn more, so my kids have more options for school and extra-curricular enrichment, I feel like I am not moving fast enough. I want to slow down when the world is saying, "KEEP UP! In fact, SPEED UP!"
I know you know what I mean.
How do you cope with it all?
In local news, Julian got his stitches out on Friday. Good thing I have been to hell and back with Bella, because getting those stitches out was nothing short of awful.
Stitches in:
Ibuprofen
Versed
Lidocaine
Stitches out:
nada
Yeah, that sucked. I asked the pediatrician, only half joking, "Got any versed?"
"No."
"Ativan?"
"No."
"BENADRYL?"
"Nope."
"So... what would you say you DO here?"
Yeah, yeah, don't get all up in arms... I know it's a doctor's office and they don't have an onsite pharmacy... I get it. I'm just being funny here. It's funny to me that the stitches go in in the emergency room where you are lucky to have access to meds to make your kid mellow... even then, we had me singing to him, the Child Life Specialist playing a Thomas the Train video on the iPad she held over his head, a baby-straight-jacket, and a nurse holding his head steady... all on top of the meds!
In the li'l old examination room, to get those buried stitches out, we had, a dusty baby-straight-jacket, me holding his head like a grape while singing, and a nurse failing totally at holding a book up for him to see and reading to him... oh, and no drugs.
I used to have to disassociate emotionally during Bella's wound care and genuinely NOT see my baby girl, but just see 'an arm' or 'a foot' in order to cope. Well, as Julian screamed so hard the bridge of his nose started sweating, I had to do it all over again and just really focus on one suture at a time and try to anticipate his jerks and pouts so the doc had a clear shot at these diabolically tight sutures.
Hey, it's a good thing on the scar/no scar front that there were 6 of them and they were really tightly sewn, but unfortunately the skin had grown over the knots, so it was crazy hard for the doc to dig her way under them... imagine having a big cut on a really sensitive part of your face where the tweezers are plucking your eye brows accidentally while the scissors are literally digging into your freshly healed wound. Then imagine you are 20 months old with three giants hovering over you, and then throw in the baby-straight jacket and board he was on.
Yup. Sucks.
All in a day at the office of having a little boy, right? :-o
In other news, the weekend was busy catching up with old friends - my last roommate before moving in with Ang, whom I've only seen once in 9 years, and that was at Bella's AZ memorial. He lives in NorCal and brought the family down to Disneyland for two days, and we caught up with them for brunch before they hit the road back north. His daughter is 6 and his son is 2, so it was a perfect play date at the fountain!
We also celebrated a baby shower for two dear friends who are having their second this summer. I officiated their wedding in Hawaii in 2007, and since then, have married off or are marrying off just about all of the rest of the couples in their friend circle by this summer. Some of them have kids of their own now, so it was really sweet to see these growing families together, and to know that I was blessed to be a tiny part of starting those families on their way.
And yet, we missed another dear friend's daughter's b-day, and a soccer game... and that is simply what it's like these days. Again, intellectually I know that I can't be in all places and do all things, but sometimes even though fun was had, the weekend still feels like a draw.
Blessed for what I have... blessed for what I have... blessed for what I have....
God day.
Why not those dissolving stitches???
ReplyDeletePoor Julian!
The best example of time that I think I have ever heard is when a friend of mine likened it to a toilet paper roll; the closer you get to the end the faster it seems to go! I guess that explains why the years seemed to crawl by when we were kids and now we blink and it seems like it is halfway to Christmas already.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry about Julians trama!!! Anytime my little man is hurt I so wish I could trade places with him. Glad thats over with at least.
Have a great rest of your week!!
Kelley from MO
Long time reader of your blog, but I've never commented before. You write beautifully, Tim, and I certainly understand your comments about feeling overwhelmed and time rushing by. My husband works horribly long hours as a surgeon, and I am a SAHM of 4 lively kiddies (aged 3-11), so I constantly have my hands full too. It really seems that we are all trying to find the balance between living the life we love, and needing to provide for that life. My husband gets fed up with his working hours (frequently!), but there really isn't anything he can do about it. All we can do is cherish the time that we do have with our loved ones. Yes, it is thoroughly crazy at times, and our house is a study in chaos, but our children are experiencing life and love. It seems that yours are, too :-)
ReplyDeleteOn another note, my youngest whirlwind managed to split his head open shortly before his 2nd birthday, requiring 6 stitches. He had local anesthetic before stitching, and he was papoosed and strapped to the trolley, but I had to help hold him still while he screamed for help. I was trying not to show my distress while I comforted him, but as soon as they let him up, he stopped crying and just came into my arms for a snuggle and a nurse. He, too, had nothing when the stitches were removed, but they were easily done. We had a plastic surgeon do them - my husband was insistent that for facial stitches we should have the expert - and he has healed beautifully. I don't know if you have been given any advice about scar care, but we were told to keep it covered with neosporin and a band aid until it was fully healed, and then use a good moisturizer (we used Gold Bond Healing with aloe, and vits A,C and E). We were also ordered to keep it fully sun blocked for a year to allow it to heal and fade, as sunlight can stop it fading so well. I ended up covering it with a band aid permanently because my son kept trying to wipe off the sun block. His scar is barely noticeable now, so well worth the effort.
Hang in there, Tim, at some point it will all settle down for you and your family!