That title just means it's later than I want to be just getting to the blog on a Sunday night. I had a tank full of gas earlier today and was ready for a good ol' Sunday night sermon, but now, I'm fadin', and methinks this is gonna be truncated by sleepiness!
In fact, I can't even remember what I was all fired up about earlier in the day.
Couple of thoughts:
1) While at church, we heard about Project Hope in Orange County which serves the homeless children that live in our county. Bruno Serato is involved with feeding many of the same kids, and I want to once again ask that you vote for him in the CNN Heroes race. He feeds over 200 kids a night, every night, and has for the past 6 years. That rocks, folks. That's in addition to donating $800,000 in charity luncheons to support local charities every Wednesday at his restaurant... for the next 4 years straight. Please take a minute to vote for him by CLICKING HERE.
2) I only heard back from two people regarding the difference Bella made in their life. The request was a single line two posts ago, so it's easy to miss. On Tuesday, I'd like to read to Bella in the park statements from people as to the difference she made with them before the balloon release. If Bella touched your life in some way, would you take a minute and write her and tell her how? You can leave it here as a comment, or if you can't comment on here for some reason, you can email it to me at Timothy@puckfund.org. Thank you; I think that will make the occasion particularly sweet.
3) I forgot to mention on the last post... the video of Julian? watch it, then watch the very first video of Bella in her cradle. Pretty amazing.
Ugh. Today at church, I was dancing with Julian in the foyer to keep him quiet and I had another flashback. I flashed back to dancing with Bella in the back of the sanctuary trying to keep her quiet. I remember so clearly looking deep into her face while the room spun in the background thinking, "One day, Bella, we'll be doing this on your wedding day."
Today's moment had a cruel taste to it. It was like fate was laughing at me or something, saying, "Not quite what you planned, eh buddy boy?" It was weird. Sometimes I get really confused, because I'll be holding Julian, thinking about if he would even be here if Bella still was (I know that God only knows that, but I'm leaning towards that he wouldn't). I feel horrible sometimes, because as absolutely blessed as I am to have him, I wish I was holding Bella. Oh man, don't get mad at me for writing that. That's about as vulnerable as I could be. Sometimes, the whole cotton pickin' thing is a bit much to ponder, no lie. I know that as his personality begins to shine through that purple mouth of his, I will be full of joy with my little boy... it's all a process, and I have to be patient and gentle... with my self.
Yesterday, we took Ali to Irvine Regional Park, which is this great big park a stones through from our house. They do a really great pumpkin patch for Halloween complete with Hay Rides, a (not very) Haunted House, and pumpkins, pumpkins, and more pumpkins! It was really sweet. I've written about this place a couple of times. It's where Jennifer Edling took those AMAZING pregnancy photos of the family, and where Ali and I rode the paddle boat not too long ago. We had a good time. Julian slept the whole time just about, bless his heart... he hates being in his car seat, so he's pretty much either screaming in it or sleeping in it! Enjoy the pics... Ali wanted to dress up like a pumpkin.
I'll close with one thing I was reminded of from my experience with Bella. Remember to compliment or praise your family every day, because you genuinely don't know which day is your last with them. Just read October 10, 2010's post to see what I mean. Would have never guessed Bella was going to heaven the.next.day. When you finish reading this, go hug/kiss/squeeze your family and tell them you love them. Trust me, you won't regret doing that, even if they end up still being here tomorrow.