Monday, June 1, 2009

The Little Things...

Thank you all sooooo much. Each night, we read your posts and comments and the pain goes away.

The good:

Docs d/c'd Bella's pulsoximeter today. That's a device that measures oxygenation of blood. Bella's blood O2 saturation has been solid enough to no longer need to put this tether on her. Her skin is so sensitive that this device is causing more problems than solving, so they gave it the boot.

Bella is gaining weight. She is up to 8 pounds, 4 ounces and still pooping away the day and night. Her digestive system is tolerating full feeds now.

I (Daddy) got to hold Bella today for the first time since she was born 5 days ago.

She was so close to me, I could FEEL her healing in my arms. Being so close to all your prayers, I had the strength to see her totally healed from this condition. I was afraid to ask for so much being so cut off from her, but holding her in my arms today, I felt your prayers in action. Thank you for that moment. It was the first moment of peace in 5 days.

Mommy gets one $5 meal voucher per day for the cafeteria and we as parents don't have to pay parking! Thank God for the little things.

I met Eric Mammen at last! Eric is the Music Therapist at CHOC. Eric and I have a similar career journey and are both Chapman grads, married, 30 something with 2 kids. We also live within a mile of each other in Orange! It was nice to connect with a colleague and find a new friend in all this.

Ali, Mommy & Anabella

Mommy had her Assessment at the Mother-Baby Assessment Center today. Her nurse complimented her on her progress, stating that she has rarely seen a patient in such good shape so soon after a C-Section. Go mommy! Rally on!

The bad:

Bella is still in an isolette while we are comfy at home. I am dealing with some serious guilt being at home while she is alone. I am reminded that we need to care for our selves and our other daughter in order to have strength to care for her....but sometimes that just sounds hollow.

Still, no biopsy. grrr...

Bella still has blisters on her tongue and roof of her mouth (ouch!) so she can't eat orally. We are unsure whether they were a one-time event or a chronic condition. Once they subside, we'll try feeding orally again. If they reappear, we're gonna have to consider a feeing tube inserted permanently into her abdomen.

Outside of that, there was NO NEW BAD NEWS ABOUT BELLA'S CONDITION TODAY! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers that made that possible. Ang and I confided in each other today that we were feeling guilty that we don't have the strength to pray much right now, but we are comforted that we are surrounded by literally hundreds of friends and family who ARE praying hard for her right now. We are reminded of the "Footprints in the Sand" poem, and we genuinely feel carried, and we know Bella is carried by the collective circle of your prayers and God's love.

The whole family

Last night, when I hit my knees by my bedside for the first time since this all began, I found myself filled with gratitude, and started thanking God for all the blessings in our life right now. I find it hard to believe that's what was present, but at the end of the day, the only things that remain are the good things, and what could be better than that?


  1. From Care Pages Site:

    Posted Jun 3, 2009 1:05am
    by jae cho

    Dear Tim:
    You have gone through hard days since I did not meet you. I hope you and your Adorable is OK now. God bless you and your family
    Jae Hyung Cho
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 11:57pm
    by Mimi Ojukwu

    Angelique, Tim and Ali,
    Thank you for sharing pictures of Bella (who’s absolutely ADORABLE, by the way). You’re on my mind and in my prayers.
    Take care,
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 11:30pm
    by kim mattie

    hey Ang (Tim, Ali and little Bella :) ! I am SO sorry to hear what you have been going through. I've been thinking about you sooooo much (any praying for you all too :)!
    Ang - through all of this, it's good to hear that your recovery is going so well!!! I will look forward to when you're all home and well - and you can bring Bella by for a visit :)

    Posted Jun 2, 2009 9:56pm
    by vicki hurst

    May your family be filled with peace and know that God will cover Bella with his comforting wings
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 7:10pm
    by Chelsea Davis

    Tim & Ang,
    Yes we are definitely praying. Bella and your family have been on my mind a lot, so I've been praying a lot. May the peace of Christ fill you, and His strength, by which you can do all things, lift up your face.
    And most of all, may you rest, in knowing that you ARE being carried.

    In Christ,

    Chelsea Davis
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 2:30pm
    by Kathryn Fulton

    Tim and beautiful family ~ Thanks for posting the updates and photos. You're constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Kat
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 1:21pm
    by Jim Hornaday

    Tim, Ang, Ali, & Bella -

    The love in your family is a tremendous inspiration. You are strong and your energies for healing are incomparable. Remind yourself to rest and breathe. I believe in you. My thoughts are with you.

    I love you all,
    Jim Hornaday
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 12:40pm
    by Lacy Jane Vanderboom

    My Brother...
    Lacy and I are praying for your entire family to stay strong for Bella and keep your thoughts positive.
    I honor the strength in your family and know your unity is strong!
    Know this...
    Bella now knows the strength of your heart through your gift of music and the healing properties of your voice.
    Ang is reminded of the intensity of your love for all 3 of your girls and therefore heals quickly through it's energy.
    Allie is there for both of you and knows only unconditional love for her new beautiful sister and wonderful parents.
    and I love all of you!!!!

  2. More From Care Pages:

    Posted Jun 2, 2009 12:29pm
    by Jennifer Nelson

    Ang & Family.

    Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and I am praying that Bella is healed.

    Jennifer Nelson
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 12:00pm
    by Nicole Cassens

    Angie and Tim - I wanted you both to know that Jeff and I are thinking about your family and praying for healing and strength for all of you. We are here to help in any way needed.

    Nicole & Jeff Cassens
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 11:44am
    by Linda Short

    Good Morning!

    I too have been feeling Bella's healing! Somehow it is too deep for words, so I will hold fast to the feeling and keep the prayers flowing!!

    Tim and Angelique, I pray for your strength and your courage. God has blessed each of you with a powerful sense of the limitless possibilities in your lives, and that, I am confident, will sustain you in the days and weeks ahead.

    Our love, thoughts and prayers are with you,

    Linda & Dennis Short
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 11:19am
    by Doug Gleason

    An inspiring update indeed! Go Bella, go!
    All our love and relentless prayers,
    Doug, Heather, & Alex
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 10:48am
    by Steve Williams

    There is peace and a little joy in the message today - inspiring. Bella Rocks!
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 10:45am
    by Jim Thomas

    Sending nothing but positive flow Bella's way. Your outlook is inspiring.

    Jim, Jen, Kellen & Nolan
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 10:33am
    by Jennifer Higgins

    So nice to see the family picture. I am sure there are more of those to come. Thanks for taking the time to post those updates. I have been updating our nurses here as well as Holly and they send well wishes and prayers to Bella and her family. Blessings.
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 10:29am
    by Kelli Kelly

    Tim and Angelique, you are a blessing and an inspiration to us. Both of you and your family are with me in my prayers throughout the day.I haven't spent this much time in prayer for many years :-)
    We love you all, Kelli and Richard
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 9:52am
    by kathleen tumbleson

    Lots and lots of prayers coming from the Tumbleson Family... Happy to hear there is progress with Bella.
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 9:48am
    by Russ Baldwin

    Your faith is a gift to all of us who are holding you in our prayers and thoughts. Our prayers will not cease.
    Love & Prayers
    Russ & Jen
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 8:54am
    by Kristine Gorman

    What a little fighter. I am so happy to hear that she is getting bigger and stronger!

    Kristine Gorman
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 8:04am
    by Robin Setto

    Dear Tim, Angelique, Ali and Bella,
    Stay strong, your words bring tears to my eyes Tim, you and Ang are so strong! Bella is so blessed to have you as parents! We are all praying HARD for you, do not feel guilty God knows more than anyone exactly how you are feeling and he knows you are grateful for each moment, each new step towards recovery. Yes, care for yourselves, it is the best gift you can give Bella now so that you can be as strong as you can be for her arrival home! “If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.”
    Michael & Robin Setto
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 2:46am
    by Helen Dolas

    The photos are absolutely adorable! Thinking of you all- all the time! hugs, Helen
    Posted Jun 2, 2009 2:17am
    by Barbara Reuer

    Thanks Tim for the updates. Your "little ones" are beautiful. Know that we are all keeping you in our hearts and prayers. blr