Showing posts with label picnic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label picnic. Show all posts

Sunday, July 5, 2009

One Step Forward, One Step Back



Well, hello everyone. Sorry it's been a while since any updates. Well, that's because there hasn't been much to update about. Bella's old wounds get better, but she continues to get new ones. One step forward, one step back. We are struggling with the reality that this is what it will be like every day of her life. We've been praying so hard for things to just "go away," that new or recurrent blisters almost feel like slaps in the face. We feel like somehow we are letting her down. Some of the blisters go away and stay, some just keep recurring. It makes us question whether Bella will ever be un-bandaged. One day at a time. One day at a time.

The good news is that her gas is subsiding. After just about a week on Zantac and Culturelle, coupled with Ang discontinuing spinach (spinach gave Ali bad gas as a baby), Bella has been mellow, almost serene today. That's a good thing because yesterday she was miserable all day and evening. We were told there would be good days and bad days, and those EB parents were right!

Here's a great Providence story from this past week I forgot to write about.

While at the EBMRF picnic last Sunday, a woman stopped me to ask me if Bella was an EB baby. She said her granddaughter had EB and she wanted us to meet her. Her name is Noelle, she's 8 , and lives in Irvine. The grandma wrote Noelle's mom's name and phone number on a piece of paper for us and we all went on our way.

Two days later, our neighbor Robert dropped by. Robert and his wife Katherine gave birth to a boy, Julian, three weeks before Bella. We don't know them well at all, but when they found out about Bella's condition, Robert came over and told us if there was ANYTHING they could do, let us know. Anyhow, Tuesday, Robert appears at the door with a gift for Bella! We talk for a little, then get back to dinner. As I open the box, a cute baby outfit awaits inside along with a card. As I read the card, there is a P.S. paragraph on the left side of the card. (You know, the part where you actually write something personal). Anyhow, the paragraph reads, "We want you to know that my sister in law has a daughter with EB and would be happy to talk to you and help out in any way. She lives in Irvine and..."

The name and number? Same name and number that was written on the note from Grandma.

Katherine had no idea we met her niece just two days prior.

In a metropolitan area filled with millions, and with a diagnosis of only 10 in a million, what are the odds? Too great for coincidence, leaving once again, only Providence.

On a separate note, I went back to work at UCI Medical Center this past week. I work in oncology, and the two sessions I had with two patients while they underwent chemotherapy were two of the best sessions of my brief career. The level of empathy and empathic listening was unparalleled, and the authenticity I was able to tap into created such a safe space, the two patients opened up about all sorts of things related to their journey through cancer. One patient even recalled the birth of her child and having to go home from the hospital without her due to her being only 4 pounds. No one can explain to you what that is like. It is the most "wrong" feeling on the planet...like there is something terribly wrong with the planet and there is nothing you can do to undo it.

I realize that my own suffering has created a new level of connection with my patients, and I am grateful for the tender sessions we had this week.

There really is always something to be grateful for, sometimes it just takes a little reflection to see it. Thanks to you, this site allows me the opportunity to reflect and share these reflection with you. Your feedback continues to strengthen us as we brace ourselves for the marathon that we thought was just a sprint.

May the abundance of God's blessings be upon each of you today.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

EBMRF Picnic



Well, the EBMRF picnic was today, and we packed up the minivan and went for a trek up to Malibu. It was at a cool outdoor shopping mall (although, much smaller and hipper than a "mall" per se). The weather was a little warm, but there was plenty of shade. it was extremely well run, with TONS of activities for kids. Ali got her face painted, planted flowers, filled a butterfly shaped glass jar with different colors of sand, made and ate a cupcake, and danced away the afternoon trying to master the hula hoop. She's got a ways to go with that. Free valet parking, free food, free giveaways...it was a nice event.

We got to meet several EB families from Southern California with kids from 5, 8, 10, 11, to a woman who is 30, all with DEB. Most were more severe cases than Bella, and it was a little frightening to see the fused hands, and flaky, bandaged arms (and legs) and two wheelchairs. However, we met two kids who looked and led rather normal lives, one of which lives in Irvine, the city next to ours!

We all exchanged horror stories of nurses putting tape on our babies' faces and how the docs don't know as much as we do about this bizarre and rare disease. Out of all of Southern Califronia, there were maybe 5 families from the region today, all who knew each other.

It is a small brotherhood/sisterhood/familyhood...community. The parents couldn't have been nicer to us, and each offered their help with anything.

Ang's high point however, was the help she received in the ladies room while changing Bella. Women were ogling and cooing over Ang's shoulder as she was changing Bella, and then one voice said, when hearing Bella squak, "That's my favorite sound in the whole world!" The woman stepped up and helped Ang clean/straighten up...who was this woman? Brooke Shields.

Yup, Malibu did have a few stars in attendance today. We also ran into Tori Spelling and Denise Richards. I was yaking it up with some guy at one point, and we were talking about the superiority of the balloon lady, and how we'd never seen anything like her work...a few minutes later, I see people taking pictures with the guy...I still have no idea who he was. The interesting thing about the social dynamic of the scene was that we live in Orange County, where at most high-end malls, no one makes eye contact because they all think they are the most important person there anyway and filled with self importance. At this mall, everyone was making eye contact with each other to see if the other person was someone they knew from TV. I never had so many strangers make eye contact with me...only for a second before they realized I wasn't REALLY Brad Pitt after all. I know, I know...A LOT of double takes...yeah, in my dreams.

All in all, it was nice to meet some parents who KNEW...one guy and I talked about what it was like having your wife in one hospital and your infant child in another...the feeling that no matter where you were, you weren't at the other. I remember walking the tunnel alone that connects St. Joe's and CHOC time after time in those first 3 days in a daze...it was so nice to meet someone else who had made that same voyage.

Ultimately, we learned today that you learn from other parents whose kids are older than yours...NOT from the medical establishment. Then, when a new baby comes along, we'll help its parents the same way we're being helped. That's what Leslie's trip out to see us was all about. Solidarity.

Thanks to those who encouraged us to make the trip today. We were on the fence, but your words of encouragement pushed us off. THANK YOU!

Oh, and to see a new video of Bella, Ali, and Mommy that is SUPER CUTE, go to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjIbUiUd__E

Good night and God bless. Tomorrow, we meet Bella's GI Doc!