The Little Things...

Thank you all sooooo much. Each night, we read your posts and comments and the pain goes away.

The good:

Docs d/c'd Bella's pulsoximeter today. That's a device that measures oxygenation of blood. Bella's blood O2 saturation has been solid enough to no longer need to put this tether on her. Her skin is so sensitive that this device is causing more problems than solving, so they gave it the boot.

Bella is gaining weight. She is up to 8 pounds, 4 ounces and still pooping away the day and night. Her digestive system is tolerating full feeds now.

I (Daddy) got to hold Bella today for the first time since she was born 5 days ago.

She was so close to me, I could FEEL her healing in my arms. Being so close to all your prayers, I had the strength to see her totally healed from this condition. I was afraid to ask for so much being so cut off from her, but holding her in my arms today, I felt your prayers in action. Thank you for that moment. It was the first moment of peace in 5 days.

Mommy gets one $5 meal voucher per day for the cafeteria and we as parents don't have to pay parking! Thank God for the little things.

I met Eric Mammen at last! Eric is the Music Therapist at CHOC. Eric and I have a similar career journey and are both Chapman grads, married, 30 something with 2 kids. We also live within a mile of each other in Orange! It was nice to connect with a colleague and find a new friend in all this.

Ali, Mommy & Anabella

Mommy had her Assessment at the Mother-Baby Assessment Center today. Her nurse complimented her on her progress, stating that she has rarely seen a patient in such good shape so soon after a C-Section. Go mommy! Rally on!

The bad:

Bella is still in an isolette while we are comfy at home. I am dealing with some serious guilt being at home while she is alone. I am reminded that we need to care for our selves and our other daughter in order to have strength to care for her....but sometimes that just sounds hollow.

Still, no biopsy. grrr...

Bella still has blisters on her tongue and roof of her mouth (ouch!) so she can't eat orally. We are unsure whether they were a one-time event or a chronic condition. Once they subside, we'll try feeding orally again. If they reappear, we're gonna have to consider a feeing tube inserted permanently into her abdomen.

Outside of that, there was NO NEW BAD NEWS ABOUT BELLA'S CONDITION TODAY! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers that made that possible. Ang and I confided in each other today that we were feeling guilty that we don't have the strength to pray much right now, but we are comforted that we are surrounded by literally hundreds of friends and family who ARE praying hard for her right now. We are reminded of the "Footprints in the Sand" poem, and we genuinely feel carried, and we know Bella is carried by the collective circle of your prayers and God's love.

The whole family

Last night, when I hit my knees by my bedside for the first time since this all began, I found myself filled with gratitude, and started thanking God for all the blessings in our life right now. I find it hard to believe that's what was present, but at the end of the day, the only things that remain are the good things, and what could be better than that?