Thursday, August 4, 2011

August 4, 2011: Blink...


... blink blink...

two days go by.
The world, does it change?
not to my eye.

... blink blink ...

a month goes by.
Do I?  Do I change?
not to my eye.

... blink blink ...

a year goes by.
Where did it go?
I shudder and sigh.

... blink blink ...

a life goes by.
How fast was it over?

in the blink of an eye.

Today, one of Bella's fellow patients from the PICU in MN (not an EB patient) joined her in heaven.  Her name is Aaryana, and we used to see her mom Jenny every day balancing having a young child in the PICU with (I think) 4 other children there, and from what I remember, not much help from family.  Not to anyone's fault or discredit, we just always saw Jenny with her kids and no one else.  Anyway, Aary's body ended up shutting down from the effects of BMT much the same way Bella's did.  When Ang and I read her caringbridge, the recent update was practically exactly the same as what Bella went through... except it's been a YEAR since transplant, and the battles, joys, triumphs, set-backs that have occurred between now and then... a lifetime... literally... and yet a blink of an eye.  Time is so strange.  It is so nebulous.  Ali feels like a teenager, like the 5 years of her life seem like 15.  The fact that I've only been practicing music therapy for three years, feels like a joke.  Julian will be here in 2 and a half weeks. Might as well be tomorrow...

... blink blink ...
what are you putting off?
Till when?
You get more time?

... blink blink ...

times up.
How does it feel?
You never got there.
Wherever there was.

... blink blink ....

a couple, married 46 years
today lamented about 
all the plans they never got to
now that he is in the hospital.

... blink blink ...

don't you see?
This is it.
This is someday.
Don't put it off till then.
Then may never come.
Then what?

... blink blink ...

don't wait another day.
How do you know you have one
to wait for?

... blink blink ...

You open your eyes
God is smiling at you
Did you get it done?

NOW is your chance.
TAKE it.

God night.


  1. Many many prayers for comfort and peace to Aaryana's family especially her momma! She is up there playing with your sweet Bella now!

    And wow! Your words always hit my heart (in a good way!) because a touch is far to gentle and here lately everything you say just hammers in and makes so much sense!

    Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us!


  2. Great poem!

    Condolences to the bereaved family. Rest in peace, Aaryana!

  3. Gosh! The photo of Bella reaching out with that serious look on her! Very touching.

    Very good post Tim. Good reminders for all.


  4. What a beautiful poem to remind us that today is the day to live your life. How is it only two weeks until Julian's birth!! Have a restful weekend. Holly

  5. So very got me thinking.

    My heart hurts that another child is lost because of EB. A cure cant come fast enough.

    Sending my love to all, sweet kisses for Ali and belly rubs for Julian.

    Denise WI

  6. After all the stories I am gathering, this made me teary. It is all too true. We blink - and miss so much.
    Firstly, I am so sorry that I have found you in my search for contributors to my book. My name is Katrina and I ask that you please take a look at my blog - it tells all about the book I'm trying to put together. I am trying to gather a compilation of stories from Mums and Dads that have at some point received the news that there is something wrong with their child. In the hope that, with stories of honest reactions we may help others that hear this news feel a little less alone. In advance, I thank you for looking at my blog and please feel very free to share it around. Thanks, Trine