Sunday, July 17, 2011

July 17, 2011: Fun in the Sun...


I hope you are all having a fun-filled summer.  The past two summers were full of a lot of stress, and the fun we had was more like mental survival techniques rather than light-hearted good times.  This summer, we are getting to really be outside and have as much light-hearted fun before going into the nest next month for a while with Julian.

Yet, the fun is still tempered by this subtle feeling, like a bad taste in our mouths.  We get to play in the sun and pool because we don't have Bella to keep in the air conditioned shade of our home.  This is where grief plays some tricks on me.  I know I should be grateful for being out in the sun with Ali.  Believe me, when I read how my friend Patrice is going stir-crazy this summer, I know I should 'count my blessings.' Yet, there's a big chunk of me that would gladly give back all these summer days, just to watch "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" in the A/C indoors with Bella again.

This year, I get the sun and pool, at the expense of my girl.  I try to go through my weeks keeping busy and upbeat, but under it all, there is just so much pain.  Sorry to bring it out on here, I just can't go into a report of the activities since Thursday's post like it's nothing.  This pain is like a headache I just can't shake; it splits its time between a heartache, and a headache that mainly occurs as a head-fog.  I am so embarrassed by how many things I forget to do in a week.  Week in week out, I just try to let it go, but every once in a while, I just get tired.  This pain is tiring.

So, having lightened the mood here with that preamble, let me give you the news:

Friday night, my dear friend Sara Dudik (Sara Dee to her fans - check out her music HERE) played her CD release party in Los Angeles, and I went up to support her.  What a GREAT show!  Man, Sara has this thing she does with her voice, I'm telling you, she can sing!  It's hard to explain; her vocal tone is 1) her own 2) liquid 3) smooth, round, and creamy and 4) MASTERED.  PLEASE go check out her music, she is awesome and is as beautiful a person as a musician - and a fellow music therapist!

Saturday was back to back party time!  First, we went to a pool party for all the kids at Ali's daycare.  That was a lot of fun to see all the kids together in a separate environment from daycare playing so well together.

After the pool party, we headed to grandma and grandpa's house for a family birthday celebration!  July is birthday month in Ang's family, so it's all handled on one day, and it's practically Christmas in July!  Present opening time looked just like Christmas morning; wrapping paper and gift bags everywhere.  Good times, and LOTS of food.

Today, one of the teaching assistants from Ali's school came over to play with Ali in the pool and watch her so Ang and I could have a nice, quiet, grown-up dinner out to celebrate her birthday, which is TOMORROW!  It was nice for us to be able to hang out and talk adults for a while.  We love Ali, but she can dominate a conversation or situation more so than even me!  That takes a lot! LOL.

Tomorrow, I am bringing instruments into Ali's pre-school and hosting 2 separate "Fun with Music" times with the children from her class.  Mainly, I want to give the kids a good time, but really, I want Ali to have a chance to brag about her daddy coming to school.  This was exactly why Angelique and I structured my career the way we did.  Owning my own company allows me to call the shots and let family come first even at the beginning of the week, if need be.  I'm very grateful to have this opportunity.

Alright, eyes are drifting closed.  Last, and perhaps MOST important in this post...

Please say a prayer for little Tripp Roth, and his super-duper-amazing mom, Courtney.  Tripp is having a rough time of it right now, and he could really use a miracle.  Thanks.

God night.


  1. Hi, Tim...

    I thought about you this morning as I was watching the Today show. They did a story on a doctor who works with cancer patients and uses music with them. Actually, his is also a musician and writes songs for his patients. It was so refreshing to see a physician whose "bedside manner" included something so personal and meaningful for his patients. If you didn't see it, you may want to check it out.(I tried to include a link, but my computer is not cooperating!)

    Sorry about your struggles with grief. He is indeed a complicated character. Praying strength for you and Angelique as you continue for work your way through it.

    Take care. Hope you all have a good week!

    A friend in NC

  2. Ali is too cute.

    I'm sorry you are hurting. In my limited experiences with loss, I've learned that it will continue to hurt...but in time, it will be less of a jarring pain and more of an underlying sadness. Grieving is hard work, but you are doing a great job being honest with yourself (and your readers).

    Thinking of you and your family often.

  3. Hi Tim -

    So glad that you're enjoying summer - and in the same breath, so sorry that you're hurting. I can't imagine how much you miss that sweet Bella.

    By the way, my newest issue of Parents has an article about a boy with a rare blood disease (the name escapes me at the moment) - he received cord blood stem cells from - you guessed it - Dr. Wagner! If I can find the article online I'll send you the link.

    Praying for all of the Ringgolds and for Julian as he gets ready to make his debut!!

    Love from TX,
    Laura (for Team A)