When I type the title of the blog post each night, I start with the date. Well, for the past week, the computer has been auto-populating the rest of the title with last year's title. So, tonight, as I typed in July 3... it said, July 3: Day+1.
That means yesterday, July 2, was Day +0... transplant day.
It also means tomorrow is Day +2... intubation day.
and YET, yesterday was NOT Day +0, it was July 2, 2011, with its own full day of fun, excitement, and tribulations, just as tomorrow is NOT Day +2 intubation day (sounds like "terminator 2: Judgement Day), it is the fourth of July, 2011.
However, as we pass these landmark dates for the first time since last summer when it all transpired, it is impossible not to be emotionally "co-located" between "the now" and "the then."
I went back and read the post from 7/3/10... Feels like eternity ago, and yet, I find myself feeling, in the words of Eddie Money, "I wanna go back, and do it all over, but I can't go back I know..." The sadness and regret I have been feeling the past couple of days has really been wearing at me. I know I have been snappy with Ali and distant with Ang... It is such a crummy feeling. It's not unique... you've all felt it. It's that awful feeling when you just wish you could turn the hands of time back and make a different decision... but you know you can't, so you know you are torturing yourself going down that mental road in the first place, but you do it anyway... that feeling.
(Sorry for the language... it just sums it up perfectly).
Alright, thanks for letting me vent all that out. It just would be totally inauthentic if I tried to just give you the report of the days since last posting like I'm just movin' through life, day by day....
Having said THAT, here are the events of the past few days! LOL:
We saw Daylon! We got to spend a wonderful afternoon/evening with the Edlings and can you believe I forgot my camera? AAAAAHHHH..... Jennifer promised to send me some pictures from the party, and as soon as she does, I'll post 'em here for ya! One additional surprise was that Steve, Becky and Chloe Pop drove ALL THE WAY from Sacramento to attend! It was SO nice to see them as well. You may remember that they lost their daughter, Elle, in the same trial shortly after Bella died. We hadn't seen or spoken to them since, and it was really great to catch up.
Gotta tell ya, it was mind numbing to see Daylon. Steve Pop and I almost fainted on several occasions watching how Daylon could get picked up from under his armits... and get this, NOT A BANDAGE anywhere on his body, save his right foot where he has a chronic infection he battles. Outside of that, he was barefoot on the left, with nothing but regular diapers under a pair of shorts, and a custom made - EMBROIDED - birthday t-shirt on top. For a baby with Junctional-Herlitz EB to celebrate his 2nd birthday like this? Unheard of. Daylon IS medical history. What a fighter! He has fought so many "insurmountable odds," it is amazing. He is amazing. His parents are amazing... P.S. they have 4 other kids to raise! What a story. If you haven't gotten hooked on his blog, you can follow Daylon HERE.
It was also really cute to see Chloe, Ali, Kiera, and Caleb running around together again. Kiera and Caleb are Daylon's oldest siblings, and last summer, the 4 of them were pals in MN together. What an amazing reunion it was!
Saturday was spent at a fun birthday party of one of Ali's friends from daycare. It was at one of those all-inclusive fun spots for kids with giant bouncy universes for the kids to play in and pizza and cake galore! Lots of Ali's friends from daycare turned out, so it was cute to see them all back together again. Several of them have left daycare for school (as Ali has) so it was definitely a reunion! Daddy got to have some fun as well playing with the kids.
We spent today at a beautiful community pool in our friends Pete and Maria's neighborhood. A mixture of family and friends were there, and tons of kids. Ali was in the pool ALL day. That kid is a FISH. She gets better and better in the water every day. She LOVES IT. I remember loving being in the pool as a kid as well, mainly because we didn't have one, so when I was around one, I was IN one. In New England growing up, pool season was SHORT, so it was like a special occasion to go in the pool! Ali treats every day like it's a special occasion; like it might be her last chance ever to play in a pool. It is cute. We hung at the pool for like 7 hours, and yes, we are pink, but again, it was a good time.
We ran out of plans as of today. I foresee Ali wanting to go to the pool. Shock.
Happy 4th; I need to get some aloe and get to sleep! :-)
Doesn't this look like something out of Dr. Seuss or Willy Wonka???