Heaveno!
First off, thank you for the very supportive comments since the last post on Sunday night. I was a little nervous sharing that stuff, and I really appreciate and took to heart what many of you wrote. The only other example in life I can kind of relate this all to is like when you know you are going to relocate, but you haven't yet... you are present to all the things you are going to miss, but when you get there, you are totally excited and filled with the newness of everything... but during that time leading up to the move... you're kind of in limbo... that kind of comes close to how I feel. Shoot, we got kids comin', goin', and growin'! They're moving every which way! LOL
Life around here is busy. Busy feathering the nest, busy working on PUCK plans, busy expanding my music therapy program at the hospital, and busy expanding my personal coaching program as well! WHEW! The activity is good. Ang only has 16 work days left before Julian arrives! Wow, that really makes it seem soon! Julian's official C-section date is August 22. Ali is so excited. She is truly built to be a big sister. I think she is really going to enjoy this because 1) Julian is EB free so he is safe to hold and hug and touch and pinch and all that yummy good stuff you want to do to a baby, and 2) She is two years older than when Bella was born, so she understands more and can interact at a different level with us and with him.
Thank you to all who sent love and support Courtney and Tripp's way. Did you see any of the pictures of the prayer rally they did in Ponchatoula on Monday night? All I can say is God is good. What an absolutely inspiring event! CLICK HERE to check out some pictures. We lit Bella's candle in honor of the vigil, but more than anything, I just wanted to jump in a magical private jet and fly there to be a part of the event.
Recently, I shared that I played guitar for a fellow church member on hospice. Her husband shared with my the most wonderful 'poem.' It helps me, and so I share it with you...
I am standing upon a seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning
breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and
watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of a white cloud just where the sea and
sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was
when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"There, she is gone!" There are eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the
glad shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying.
-Henry Van Dyke
Perhaps that also describes being born. Maybe Bella is standing on the shores of heaven seeing Julian off while we all wait here saying, "Here he comes!" Perhaps it is all just two sides of the same coin.
God night.
What a beautiful poem. Still thinking of you and holding Bella in my heart. God bless.
ReplyDeleteTim,
ReplyDeleteYou do not know me (I am new to your blog and I found you through Courtney and Tripp's blog after someone posted on my birthboard asking for prayers for Tripp) and after spending two days reading your blog I feel like I know your family. I have been checking in today waiting for another post.
You have an amazing way with words and your family (as well as the Roth family) have touched my heart and I feel like God is pulling me to do something, I am just not sure what. I am listening and waiting and trying to figure it out!
I just wish I would have found you sooner! I would have made the 5 hour trip to be with your family in Richardson and help in anyway was possible!
I also want to say congrats on Julian!! What an amazing gift! I know exactly what feelings you are talking about in this post. I lost a baby at 21 weeks and I had all of the fears you do now when I was pregnant with my second who is just a few months older than your magical Ali!
Your family is nothing short of amazing and I look forward to all of your updates!
God bless you and your sweet family!
Love,
Rhi
Oh, my, what a lovely poem. What a wonderful way of describing death - and new life - all with the same analogy. Beautiful. You always touch me with your words, Tim, but this one really got to me today. Your post is so poignant but also filled with what I see as a sense of hope. Ah, hope...what would we do without it?
ReplyDeleteWishing you well as you all continue feathering your nest. I am anxiously awaiting the day that Julian's ship arrives on the very blessed shore of the Ringgold family.
Take care, sweet family, and God bless!
Susan
A friend in NC
Well Tim you did it again. I am sitting here with tears because of the end of your post. What a beautiful poem and I love the thought of Leah on the shores of Heaven seeing Tabitha off as we all are down here saying, Here she comes. What a lovely thought.
ReplyDeleteEB free babies, there is nothing finer. Can't wait for my new beautiful granddaughter. Take care my friend and give that amazing wife of yours, my best. Love and Peace Leah's Nana
Loved the poem, it really touched me, what a beautiful way of looking at life and death. Still reading, still praying, still thinking of you all. Looking forward to Ang's baby shower next weekend, it's going to be fun. Thanks for the updates about Tripp. Man, Courtney and Tripp have been on my mind. What an amazing woman/mother, she inspires me.
ReplyDeletep.s.: Bella's pic, that smile (-: luv-luv-luv it!
Peace & Love,
Lara
I love that visual image- Bella telling Julian not to worry, that he has the best mommy and daddy ever. And she is full of joy for him, with the beautiful smile from the photo above as she bids him goodbye (for now). Bella is always in our hearts... again, thank you for sharing her with us~ I will never forget her! Julian will bring some of her with him, I am sure... she will have sent little glimpses through him to make you smile and feel her love. Enjoy him and please know that I (like so many others) hold my kids with that much more love and patience and tenderness ~ all due to how much Bella and Tripp have inspired me. You, Ang, Courtney... you have laid forth such an example of parental love and devotion. Both Bella and Tripp have caused my faith to grow and fill some empty places in my heart. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThinking and praying for your lovely family and Tripp.
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Mariana,UK
That poem is so beautiful. What a wonderful analogy.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for a while and have commented only once or twice before but think of and pray for you frequently. I can not begin to imagine all the overwhelming emotions you and your family are going through. You are truly an inspiration and you have handled everything that has been given to you with such grace.
While I know you all would love nothing more than for Bella to have been healthy and still here I was thinking the other day what a blessing this pregnancy must be in that you have such a gift and appreciation for the miracle of life and children that most of us couldn't even begin to comprehend. While most of us say we are thankful for the blessing of a healthy child I know I myself frequently take so much for granted that I'm sure you never do.
I was reading a blog of another family who recently lost their infant and they posted a quote someone had told them that I thought you might appreciate if you haven't heard it before. "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my baby on my lap today and told her about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would You please hold her on your lap and tell her about me?"
God bless your growing family! :)
With deepest regards and admiration,
Anna
:)