November 9: Holy piles of stuff, Batman!

One of the many beautiful roses at Ali's daycare...

Heaveno!

Well, we picked up the 20 boxes we shipped home from MN at grandma's last night. Combined with the two giant boxes of books I recently ordered that also arrived today, we had a house FULL of cardboard today! Kudos to Ang's best friend Jen for coming over today to help make that pile disappear! Now we just have piles of stuff instead of piles of boxes, and it's definitely going to take a few days to sort out!

The weather has been beautiful here upon our return (it was 100 degrees here the week we were in TX... was that only last week? sheesh!). Ali is back at the in-home daycare she and Bella used to go to, and that has been a wonderful reunion for her. Yeah, she could go on to a preschool, but there is an academic curriculum taught by "Joanie," the wonderful grandma that runs the daycare. The most important piece though is that she is back in a routine she knows and loves, and for that we are most grateful. Her best boyfriend Conner is still at daycare, and the two of them are the only two over two years old right now, so it is good they have each other to play with.

More from daycare...

It is really interesting watching Ali rediscover so many of her giant toys that didn't make the MN journey (AKA Barbie cruise ship). Her style of play has evolved somewhat; she still can destroy a room in 10 seconds flat - don't get me wrong - but in a couple of brief moments, I have watched this 'little woman' just doing her thing, and there is a sophistication in her being that is present and distinct from last time I watched her play in this space. I'm noticing it because of the juxtaposition of this new Ali on this same old place. Kind of cool to watch.

I traveled to Encinitas today to work with a client of mine who is also one of my mentors, Christine Stevens. She moved while I was in MN and is renting the most conscious dwelling I have ever walked into. I won't get it right trying to describe the lineage of the owner, but suffice to say that a very holy man lives there and is spending 2 years in India right now. In the back yard, he has built a temple that is open to the public 24/7, and my client rents his small home on the grounds. It was like an Indian version of Mr. Miaggi's home in the original 'Karate Kid.' When I walked in her living room, she showed me a small alter, which had a picture of Bella on it, a candle, some fresh sage, and the butterfly card I sent her from MN just days before Bella died. Christine told me that she made that little shrine to honor Bella, and that this spot is where she prays for her.

Folks, you can make any place holy when you bring the deepest attitude of love, respect, and reverence to that place.

You can make any conversation holy when you bring the deepest attitude of love, respect, and reverence to that conversation.

You can make any relationship holy when you bring the deepest attitude of love, respect, and reverence to that relationship.

I believe we have divinity within us, and that when we bring these traits into any space of thought, action, or physicality, it lights the flame - ignites the spark - that allows divinity to not only flow out through us, but down upon us. To me, this is the gift of the Holy Spirit.

I had the honor of playing guitar for one of our church members as he was taken off life support a few years ago. Weeks later, when I saw his wife, we hugged and cried, and I thanked her for allowing me to be in such a sacred space with her family.

She replied, "Tim, it was YOU who made it sacred."

Folks, we have the opportunity to bless ourselves and those we come in contact with EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY. That is not meant as a daunting obligation, that is meant as the most extraordinary and generous opportunity God could ever give us! We have that holy seed inside each one of us, and when we grow it and nurture it and allow it to blossom, we give those around us permission to do the same. We live in world where people wear emotional masks and armor to protect themselves from others. When we live this holy opportunity OUT LOUD and IN PUBLIC, we give people a chance to see life without masks, life without armor.

I tell you this, the most cynical and resigned and sour person you know once ran and played on a playground with no armor, and no masks. Show them what it's like - don't tell them - to walk free from your armor and masks, and give them a glimpse of that pure light they once let shine.

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine

Let it shine

Let it shine

What does it take to drop that armor, to drop those masks? Well it takes a couple of things for me, I'll tell ya. For one, it takes courage for me to be vulnerable. I say courage because sometimes I fear being vulnerable - it's not safe, I might screw up or get hurt - but to me courage is best defined as taking action in the face of fear. When I take off my armor, I am vulnerable to someone else's attack. What I find though is that if I am being authentically vulnerable, there is an inherent humility that comes with it, and for the most part, people don't choose to attack another humble and vulnerable person. For example, I let it all hang out on this blog with regard to my deepest personal beliefs on every subject important to me... vulnerable! I am stripping off the armor and saying to the world what is in my heart, and for all of those thousands of comments that have been left here, I can count on one hand the ones that were hurtful or written with anger and vitriol. Now, I have to be honest and point out that I know that they can be counted on one hand because unfortunately I remember every one of them. I could have stayed within the walls of safety and not chosen to open myself and my family to the perils of the internet, and for sure I would have no bitter letters written to me then, but to what would that safety avail me? Congratulations, Tim, you played it safe, and missed the opportunity of letting the world fall in love with your daughter and find constant inspiration in her and her daddy's words. Thank you for playing small.

No thanks, I'll take my occasional lumps in return for hopefully making a small difference with my little blog.

How bout you?

How heavy is your armor?

How burdensome are your masks?

P.S.

I'm working on a new vision, like the one we declared for Bella. It might get refined still a little, but here goes:

"On October 11, 2010, Anabella Ringgold died from complications while seeking a cure for EB. On that same day ten years later, there are multiple treatment options available for every child born with that same disease. No one has to die from EB ever again."

If you are inspired by this vision like I am and you haven't yet made a donation of any amount, please click on the button up top and make a small or large donation to PUCK to help us transform this vision into reality.

God night.

Our friend Grant and his and his wife Lacy's beauty Everlee Hope rocking my cap and one of Bella's coolest shirts!

And back by popular demand, I give you, "How to cook macs and cheese in the box with the Bella Mind Melt technique!