Monday, January 17, 2011

January 17, 2011: The peace and the quiet


I like the idea of starting the blog off by answering Q&A from the previous post!  So, let's jump right in...

1.  I think that you might get an occasional blog post out of Ang, but I got the kaibosh suggesting she even blog maybe on the same day every week... too fast... gotta get her going a little slower.  Ang is much more private than I am (THAT'S not hard!), so she really doesn't have a burning desire to just start "talking" over the blog.  Maybe you could send her your questions or requests on topics you want to hear from her on.  That might get the creative juices going!

2.  Adoption.  Good question!  We've talked about different "not 100% Tim and Ang" options and none of them have really lit either or more importantly BOTH of us up.  It's a shame the adoption process is so convoluted.  I think more people would adopt if the process was simpler and faster.  Somehow, based on timelines and hoops people have had to jump through, that wouldn't be hard to improve, but that is definitely not my battle this lifetime.

3.  Anton.  Anton is the boy in Russia.  There were a couple of days when the first news of Anton surfaced where I thought about what it would take to become his parents.  It was just too much to process at the time of our grief.  Frankly, it still is.  I haven't heard about Anton in a while either, and while on paper we would be qualified to care for him, my brain can't even manage to imagine it, and my heart and brain feel hazy and heavy just imagining it for a SECOND.  I listen closely, and again, it's not the right fit.

Good questions!  Feel free to keep them coming.  Thank you for being sensitive.

I feel very clear and empowered in our current campaign, and here's why...  I have had Bella say to me twice that this treatment breakthrough isn't even about EB.  There are over 400 other skin disorders this will treat.  Bella has told me there is an important child to be born at a point in the future who wants to specifically do great things, but also wants to come into the world with a disorder that she can overcome, so Bella was like the set up kid... come, do her thing, get me involved, accelerate the doctors' breakthroughs, cause the treatment to be ready, give the girl the green light to be born, she then gets to go do her thing... this is the breathing in and the breathing out of life, and of God, and of the Universe.   This is the game I'm playing. Just a bit part in the universal thread of life.

To further help raise $$, I have launched a new professional blog at  I feel compelled to blog about more and more success principles, and I also launched my professional speaking career page today at  I feel like the more speaking opportunities I get, the more people I will inspire to get involved with this study.  The blog entry I wrote last night for that blog... I actually wrote it on here first, and realized there was so much more I wanted to write about here, and I don't want this page to be too long each day.

Also, I am going to run a google adSense campaign on this blog for one month to see what kind of revenue it creates for PUCK.  It's strictly an experiment.  Google will select the ads and place them based on the content of the blog.  Since the blog readers here are pretty loyal and 'regulars,' we'll see if it creates any new revenue.  Once you see them, please, only click on them if they are truly relevant.  People get charged per click, and it wouldn't be ethical to run up people's bills for ANY REASON.  That's just bad karma, so even though you know where the income will go, please don't click unless it is a legit reason, okay?

Finally, on kind of a sad note, we straightened the house a bit over the weekend, and today (even though Ali was home sick again) it was just neat, and peaceful.  I miss Bella.  Ugh.  Ali (4.75 years old) is a joy, and at the same time, there is just. this. giant. void. I suppose that void will hurt sometimes more than others, as it did today.  I think you understand that this campaign is one way for us to stay connected to Bella.  It is one way to make sense of Bella's death.  Fight as hard as we did and try just giving up.  Forget it.

God night.


  1. First of all I have to say that I love the picture of Bella tonight. She just looks so cute and cozy!

    I like your new Q&A section. Makes the blog more intimate. Tell Ang not to worry about getting too personal on the blog. It would just be fun to see her say hello! :0) I do enjoy getting the emails from her about the Bella fundraising project.

    Lots of Love,
    Amber, Craig, Malorie(2yr), and Liam(1yr)
    The McLaughlin Family, CA

  2. Love the new blogs..Bella is proud of you guys!

  3. The Q&A part is really nice! Thanks for answering my question about Ali's age. Hope she is better soon, and done with the sick days!
    Mary in PA

  4. Hey, sweet family...

    Continuing to remember your Bella and your hearts that are still heavy.

    Take care.

    A friend in NC

  5. I'm really curious to know if they are vaccinating these kids before putting them through the treatment?

  6. You have so much on your plate right now, not to mention the heaviness of your grief. BUT....if you want to follow Anton's story, here is the FB link:!/pages/Help-Anton/142880872427136

    There are no EB specialist or critical care wound specialists in Russia. Please consider praying for him and giving advise via facebook to these volunteers and caretakers until Anton is adopted. NOBODY knows EB care better than you.

    Thanks Tim and Angelique!

  7. I am a long time lurker. :-) I wanted to tell you that I continue to pray for y'all. Thank you for continuing to share your lives with us daily.

    Leslee -- TX

  8. Popping on to say...I am still around but I caught a bug of my own and have catching up to do.

    Denise WI

  9. just now got to read the rest of this entry....going to read the new blogs you have and last nights post! Saw Ali on love her....she always makes time for hugs when I see cute!