Wednesday, January 19, 2011

January 19, 2011: Renewed


Wanna an infusion of energy or clarity?

Clean something.

Seriously!  I have been working slowly but steadily this past month on reclaiming my office.  Today was a big milestone, because my desk is clean and organized and ALL of my crap is filed - not piled - (Ang, well, she doesn't get as much time in our office so, she's still got a pile... DOH!)  Anyhow, it felt SOO good to get to this level of clean and organized.  I feel so much less cluttered mentally than last night when writing you.  Thank you for your kind and gentle words.  I definitely felt the love and had a warm smile on my face when I finished reading your comments.

Today was also a good day because it was my coaching day!  I have 2 coaching clients that call in weekly and 2 that call in monthly.  Wednesdays are currently my coaching day, so I got to coach all day today, clean in between (and watch my Arsenal handle Leeds United in the FA Cup 3rd Round after surviving last match by the skin of their teeth).  I coached from my office, from my couch, from my back patio.  Man, it was just AWESOME.

Can I just tell you how much I love coaching?  I first started coaching in 2002 and I LOVED it, but it wasn't the right time to pursue it.  Last year, after Bella was born, I kind of saw the writing on the wall... I was going to need to learn how to earn money from home so I could take care of her and still feel like I was contributing financially (if to nothing other than my whopping student loan and tiny retirement plan).  So, I self-published Bella's Blessings; a Humble Story of Providence, hoping to make a little money and raise a little money, and I started coaching again.  Well, a year later, I've only sold a whopping 201 books (not much to live on or contribute, but at least it's a start!), and I have 5 clients (one I travel to work with her once a month in person).  Hey, it's a start!

My favorite thing about coaching is that we simply cannot see ourselves as clearly and objectively as another can.  Maybe there are a select few walking the planet who can be the unbiased observer of their experience, but for the rest of us, allowing another person to get in 'under the hood' and see things from an objective, unbiased position allows for blind spots to be easily brought to light.  The light bulbs that go on on the other end of the phone while working with someone on an area really important to them, man, it is just THE BEST.  I can HEAR IT go on.  BING!  What a feeling of gratitude at the end of a call to KNOW I've made a positive difference in the life of not just another person, but that difference instantly ripples out to the people they interact with... family, co-workers, the whole bit.  Too cool.

Okay, okay.  Lastly, I have written about this before, but what a difference a day can make.  Listen to what a completely different place I am writing from tonight!  24 hours.  Cause breakthroughs in others lives all day and I guess I'm bound to cause a breakthrough in mine too if I want to be coaching from a space of authenticity and integrity.  I was more present and ease with Ang and Ali tonight than last night, that's for sure.  See, the ripples are good for me too!  :-)

So, if you had a bad day, just think, if a guy out in southern Cali can turn it around in a day, in the midst of losing his little girl only 3 months ago, so can you!  You and I get a whole new day tomorrow!  Then, if we underutilize or even blow tomorrow, well, chances are good we'll be back Friday to try again!

NO guarantees, mind you, but I say the above to hopefully give you hope if hope is currently missing.  It was missing for me yesterday, but not today.  Now don't get me wrong, I got some crazy bad news today on TWO FRONTS regarding the conference I am planning for late March/April, but one thing I have learned from this whole journey and now coach others on is this:

The events / circumstances of my life don't have the final say, I do.

Said another way, I give very little say to the events and circumstances in my life.  They are a rather small percentage of what determines in my head what is possible.  No matter what happens, I always get to choose how I want to relate / respond to any event or circumstance.  So, inside that, I try to choose wisely, because I know I am the one choosing.

For example, I found out today that the hotel hosting our conference will not be able to process our members' discount code on their website FOR THE NEXT MONTH.  Now, I don't know what world they are living in that anything takes a month to fix online, but ALL of my marketing pieces including my website drive people to the hotel website to register.  None of my members will be able to book their hotel for the next month at the rate I promised them.

When I heard this I literally started laughing out loud to my convention manager.  I asked her how many heads rolled for THAT blunder!  Seriously, someone must have REALLY screwed something up to have them off line for discounts for 30 days!  That's like ETERNITY online! LOL.  The news was so stunningly BAD, I literally just had to laugh.  I mean, you couldn't have told me that could happen; I simply wouldn't believe you.  Now, I don't have a clue how I'm going to deal with this on my end, but as an entrepreneur, I think that my job description really is "Chief Problem Solver."  So, it's really just par for the course.  I know that, as my mom loves to say, I always land on my feet, so I'll make it work - it won't be perfect, but what ever is?  I don't NEED to stress out about it.  I could, of course, but that is MY choice, it's not a requirement.

Do you stress out or get triggered by things automatically?  Try "not" doing it for one week.  See if you can!  It's not easy.  It is simple, but not easy.  We tend to wire ourselves for "if - then" clauses... i.e. if Johnny does X then I will get mad.  I used to do that with Ali a lot, and I'm really happy to say that I have really worked at not getting automatically triggered by a 4.5 year old for being 4.5!  LOL.

Who triggers you?  Why not abstain from "getting triggered" for a week, or even just a day!  See if you can, and if you do, see if it makes any difference FOR YOU.  We can't change anyone else (after all, can someone change YOU against YOUR will?), but we can always change ourselves.  What a gift that is.

Lastly, if you think having me as your coach might be right for you, I'd be honored to talk further about it.  Just reach me at  Since you're from the blog, if we work together, I'll donate 50% of my fee to PUCK as well.  I'll leave it at that.  Thanks for remaining by our side through this journey.  We still feel blessed through it all.

God night.


  1. Thanks for your words of inspiration and support tonight. It was the greatest piece of advice I have heard this week. It is way easier to stress out about things instead of laugh about it. You will never know what your insight and encouraging words mean to those people like me who struggle everyday. Thanks for being so awesome. You are in my prayers I wish you the best in all your endeavors as a husband, father and son. Keep up the good work, your so amazing.

  2. Wow, you hit the nail on the head for me tonight. I haven´t commented in quite some time but this one triggered me. I stress and am triggered by what seems to be everything. Imagine, I allow myself to do this consciously and unconsciously and not only does it make life kind of unbearable sometimes but I have MS and let me tell you after every event that "pushed me over the edge" of stress I have had a lapse and had to have treatment. You are right that it is easy to say(trust me my husband and family tell me all the time) but difficult to do. I work and try because I know it can have serious repercussions for me but it is still difficult. Thank you for reminding me that I am in control.

    YOu are all still in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jeni (Madrid)

  3. Your picture with Bella is so beautiful!!!
    Your office looks great; Well done!!
    Hope you can solve the problem with th hotel soon.
    Thanks for sharing your wise comments (I have a little notebook with them).

  4. Glad to hear that you had a better day yesterday.

  5. Can you come and make my office look like that????!!! If you could only see how mine looks...AHHHH piles everywhere!! Will your coaching de-clutter me? I am sure a de-cluttered mind helps us in many ways...

    Great thoughts today...thank you! Donna in NJ

  6. May I suggest that if the hotel bases prices of other services during your convention based on the number of rooms booked, that you ask them for a reduction in that number of rooms. After all, it was their mistake.

    It's always good to hear that you've worked through your present grief.

    May I suggest that you write some background info as part of your blog? Nothing too personal but maybe how you and Ang met, what took you to California, etc.

    Still praying for your family,
    Carol in Ohio

  7. I feel like I've been coached since the first day I started reading your blog (and when I did that, I had to go all the way back to the beginning, and then get caught up) You really are inspirational. It amazes me how your words of wisdom get in my head and can turn something around in a minute. THANK YOU for sharing so much of yourself and your family with us.
    Greenville, NC

  8. Great office, great post and great advice! I have been doing this periodically (trying to NOT be stressed), ever since we had the talk about traffic way back in September. You are right, its hard to do! But it feels great!

    I love staying updated daily and hearing about everything you guys are doing, thanks for sharing.

    Miss you guys, and miss sweet Ali too!

    Much Love,
    Amanda Schauer

  9. While Ari is napping, I cleaned my desk as well - told myself no playing online until it was done! So I finished filing the piles etc and then clicked on your blog link, to find this post... too funny!

    I'm sure I've said it before, but since I started reading your blog, I've become a better mother, daughter, and wife. A big part of that was just making a choice to be more patient and understanding with my family, on a day to day basis!

    As a small business owner and someone who has a lot of ideas for my future with little idea (right now) how to accomplish them - I wish I could have a coach! By the time I can afford one, I probably will have figured out a lot of it on my own and won't really need the help, LOL. Ah well.

    Glad you had a better day! Good luck getting the hotel online thing sorted out.

    Cara in Tucson

  10. Like nearly everyone else who commented, your post really hit a chord for me today. Thank you - it was a much needed reality check.

  11. I've been back to your blog 3X today to look at your clean I sit and type in mine...ugh...I wish I could take a pic and put mine next to yours...haha! Maybe I'll print yours and put it on my fridge for motivation or on my computer monitor...
    HELP...come to NJ!

  12. I am still in shock that you have sold so few copies of your book! It is wonderful and moving. You have got to get your book picked up by Barnes & Noble. More $ for PUCK.

  13. Thank you for such an inspirational post. WOW, what a differance a day makes huh? You really made me think tonight. I really try hard NOT to be a screamer but, sometimes I just can't help it. I feel like I am drowning on a daily basis and am barely keeping my nose above water. Having 2 kids under the age of 3 is hard! Being home with them all day is such a blessing but at the same time I feel like it is the hardest job I have ever had. It is so hard to keep this house in order and keep the kids entertained. Like tonight for example, I have been cleaning the house since about 3pm and I am still not done. As I clean I have two little tornadoes that follow me and destroy it. Ugh...

    I love reading your blog because it helps me to look on the positive side of every situation. Like, even though it is very stressful being a stay at home mommy, at least I get to stay home with them and see them all day every day! Still, I do appreciate my time away from all of the whining and mess. hehehe...

    I can't believe you have sold so few books. I agree with Anonymous' question before mine, you should try and get a major book retailer to pick up your book and see if you can't increase your sales that way.

    Also, have you ever thought of doing a VLOG(video blog on YouTube)? My husband likes to follow this one families VLOG called the ShayTards. According to my husband, they have only been posting videos for about 1 year and because his videos are so popular he gets paid not only by YouTube to post his videos but, companies pay him to allow them to put ads at the beginning of his videos. I guess he makes so much money just posting videos that he is debt free and was able to pay off the $195K in debt that he had prior to starting his VLOG adventure. It's just a thought...I know I would log in to watch you!! :-)

    Lots of Love,
    Amber, Craig, Malorie, and Liam
    The McLaughlin Family, CA

  14. Great post as always, Tim! I know exactly what you mean about cleaning = clarity. I always feel SO much better and able to think clearly when I have an organized office! (I work from home most of the time too, so it's easy to get cluttered quickly.)

    It's so easy to get triggered by events - I fight that battle a lot when I'm in the midst of trying to balance work, kids, etc. Thanks for coaching all of us here in blog-land!

    Love to you, Ang and Ali - hope you're all feeling better now!

    Laura (for Team A)

  15. You are an amazing coach BECAUSE of your natural tendency to inspire, your contagious love for life, and ability to articulate thought. Cheers to light bulbs! :)